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So, the Defense of Marriage Act may not be dead, but it's sure as hell looked a lot healthier. And Proposition 8 is down. And the SB 5 anti-abortion bill in Texas (thanks, in large part, to the old-fashioned filibustering of Democratic Senator Wendy Davis). These are victories. Though, sadly, I've already seen people on Twitter whining that it isn't a good thing because it isn't enough because it isn't everything for everyone all at once. Of course it isn't fucking enough. But they are a victories. I can only conclude that such individuals fail to understand that the struggle for civil rights is a war, and that wars are generally fought one battle at a time. So, I ignore the "all or nothing RIGHT NOW" crowd and take a dram of comfort that a step forward has been made.

If we're lucky, we take two steps forward for every step we take backwards.

To wit, the Court's decision yesterday regarding the VRA is fucking baffling, and vile, and should stand as a reminder that the aforementioned war is never over. Remember, "It is the common fate of the indolent to see their rights become a prey to the active. The condition upon which God hath given liberty to man is eternal vigilance." (John Philpot Curran).

For fuck's sake, it's too early in the day – and I'm too sober – to be thinking about politics. But what the hell. I was already angry.

---

If you haven't guessed, I'm not in a good place today. I shouldn't even be making this entry. Go to sleep worried, wake up angry and worried. Frankly, I do miss that time when this blog was less candid, when I was a bit better at censoring myself, maintaining a proper filter between my feelings and my readers. This sort of came up during the interview I did at HWA in New Orleans. Talking about suicide and talking about how I don't love writing. Saying things that I should keep to myself. But, isn't that what this age has become? The end of privacy? Are we not better people when we puke our secrets and confidences up in public? Isn't that the way it works? Isn't that why Twitter and Facebook are worth a fucking fortune?

It's insidious.

But, it's not as if, in theory, I can't just shut the fuck up, close down this journal, and leave the world of tweets and blog posts and status updates. But, then, the carefully manufactured fear of exclusion creeps in...

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Yesterday, to get out of the heat, we went to Conanicut Island – to West Cove and Beavertail. The air was cool, almost cold, off the bay. We saw red-winged blackbirds, gulls, cormorants, crows, grackles, sparrows, and great flocks of robins. At Beavertail, we saw rabbits. I wanted to swim, but the sea was choppy and cold. Of course, that didn't stop a lot of swimming tourons. But they must have a layer of insulation that my Southern hide lacks. Water temperatures in the bay are in the mid to high sixties. Maybe they'll reach the low seventies in a week or two, and I'll venture in. Short, short summers. There was haze over the bay yesterday, and we watched fog moving in from the south. I found a number of bones at West Cove, but nothing especially remarkable. Mostly, the garbage that washes ashore during the summer – almost all of it toxic, non-biodegrable plastic – made the beach almost impossible to bear.

The island doesn't soothe me like it did the first two or three years we were here. I begin to suspect I'm better off sticking to the coasts in South County. If nothing else, generally and for whatever reasons, they're cleaner.

---

I waded back into RP in The Secret World late last night. First time since ~May 27th. Part of me knows better, but the rest of me is too sick of reality to resist. There's been far too much of "Me" the last month.

We've All Been Changed From What We Were,
Aunt Beast

Comments

( 17 comments — Have your say! )
shanejayell
Jun. 26th, 2013 05:13 pm (UTC)
Well, yay for the fall of DOMA and Prop 8. And the defeat of that damn Texas bill.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 26th, 2013 05:19 pm (UTC)

And the defeat of that damn Texas bill.

Yep. Plus that.
aoniedesade
Jun. 26th, 2013 05:35 pm (UTC)
It often seems that for every victory, there are two or three more pressing issues that come to light. While I am overjoyed about DOMA and Prop 8 being overturned, I'm spitting mad about the VRA, especially since Mississippi has tried to enact such regulations. I think I've had enough of acronyms for the rest of the month. I understand what it feels like to be sick of oneself and unable to escape.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 26th, 2013 05:38 pm (UTC)

I think I've had enough of acronyms for the rest of the month.

Agreed.

I understand what it feels like to be sick of oneself and unable to escape.

It is a special hell.
aoniedesade
Jun. 26th, 2013 06:46 pm (UTC)
It is a special hell.

I think that is why I play so many RPGs. If I have a bad day, I can escape for awhile into Skyrim and slaughter some innocents or shady people, depending on what sort of day I am having.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 26th, 2013 06:49 pm (UTC)

I think that is why I play so many RPGs. If I have a bad day, I can escape for awhile into Skyrim and slaughter some innocents or shady people, depending on what sort of day I am having.

Yep.
corucia
Jun. 26th, 2013 05:57 pm (UTC)

I caught the end of the Texas drama last night - the telling moment was the attempt to wind back time so that the vote could count.

My daughter and I were following scotusblog on twitter this morning so that we'd hear as soon as it was announced. There was much happiness at breakfast. DOMA's fall and the passage of an equal marriage law here in Minnesota - while the war hasn't been won, I'll happily take these victories because I honestly expected them to be losses.

the carefully manufactured fear of exclusion creeps in... I'll argue that it's not so much the fear of exclusion but rather the need to be seen, and more importantly to be seen as worthwhile, to be making a significant contribution. Many people appear to feel that the first step should be to be noticed in any way possible, and the significance will follow naturally. Pity they've got it exactly backwards...
greygirlbeast
Jun. 26th, 2013 06:03 pm (UTC)

DOMA's fall and the passage of an equal marriage law here in Minnesota - while the war hasn't been won, I'll happily take these victories because I honestly expected them to be losses.

Yes.

I'll argue that it's not so much the fear of exclusion but rather the need to be seen, and more importantly to be seen as worthwhile, to be making a significant contribution. Many people appear to feel that the first step should be to be noticed in any way possible, and the significance will follow naturally. Pity they've got it exactly backwards...

This seems logical enough. My problem, specifically, is that the issue of visibility is linked to my career as an author. Especially given that my publishers do nothing much to promote my work. I have no particular interest remaining in trying to make a worthwhile contribution. I've done that, for decades, beginning long before the advent of "social media," and I'm tired. Too tired.
corucia
Jun. 26th, 2013 06:25 pm (UTC)

Yes, you did it the right way round - did things of real significance which then were recognized. That takes lots of hard work (which is why lots of people try to do it the other way round, to avoid the 'hard work' requirement). Given all you've accomplished, I'm not surprised that you're tired. Hell, I'd be astonished if you weren't! Unfortunately one can't live off one's laurels these days. Just like the plant, they add spice and flavor, but aren't sufficient for survival.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 26th, 2013 06:32 pm (UTC)

which is why lots of people try to do it the other way round, to avoid the 'hard work' requirement.

Yes. The "social media activists" mouth off online and, if they're feeling especially energetic, at cons. But I see little in the way of actual activism. Indeed, by attacking those who are making a difference and those who've forged the way, they do more damage than good.

Few are more than trolls.

Unfortunately one can't live off one's laurels these days. Just like the plant, they add spice and flavor, but aren't sufficient for survival.

Yup.
setsuled
Jun. 26th, 2013 08:59 pm (UTC)
It is the common fate of the indolent to see their rights become a prey to the active.

I kept thinking something along those line when it seemed like people were more upset about Microsoft using the X-Box to spy on people than they were about the NSA stuff. I think it goes back again to people criticising to make themselves feel significant though I wouldn't say criticism from the masses is without worth--it did finally get Microsoft to reverse its decision on the X-Box's spy camera and other idiotic ideas. If there had been equivalent outrage and ridicule aimed at the NSA, who knows what would have happened. Maybe something like the effectiveness of the outrage that created the VRA that's just been diminished, which I suspect is tied to the rise of Tea Bagger/Libertarian influence. I think deciphering a lot of what goes on in political discourse nowadays involves vainly trying to interpret the shifting patterns of narcissism and paranoia.

Are we not better people when we puke our secrets and confidences up in public?

We combine our puke until it's all one colour.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 27th, 2013 01:10 am (UTC)

I think deciphering a lot of what goes on in political discourse nowadays involves vainly trying to interpret the shifting patterns of narcissism and paranoia.

An interesting conjecture.
sovay
Jun. 26th, 2013 09:09 pm (UTC)
These are victories.

Yes. And they should be celebrated as such, and they don't wash out yesterday's appalling retrograde, and I don't think there's any greater philosophical conclusion to be drawn except fuck, keep moving forward, because the parts of the past I miss aren't the same as the ones so much of this country wants to drag us back into. And I am good with heroic filibustering senators, because I didn't ever think I was going to see Mr. Smith Goes to Washington in real life.

Mostly, the garbage that washes ashore during the summer – almost all of it plastic – made the beach almost impossible to bear.

I am sorry to hear that. I have fine memories of Beavertail.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 27th, 2013 01:09 am (UTC)

And I am good with heroic filibustering senators, because I didn't ever think I was going to see Mr. Smith Goes to Washington in real life.

Thank you for making that comparison; I was holding back.

I have fine memories of Beavertail.

As do I.
alumiere
Jun. 26th, 2013 11:08 pm (UTC)
I'm mostly happy about DOMA/Prop 8 but the rest of this session seems to be entirely bullshit rulings. We are clearly trending toward moving backwards in time in many ways whether it be towards the desired GOP outcome of the 50s or the (my hope) anger and activism of the 60s. I just want people to get and stay involved or things are going to continue to get worse instead of move forward.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 27th, 2013 01:11 am (UTC)

It is a strange, strange time. I feel I should say more, but I don't presently have the words.
gaptoothsanta
Jun. 27th, 2013 03:49 pm (UTC)
The supreme court is following (not leading) the public opinion in this area, and the public is becoming a lot more aware and a lot more sensible. The long slow work of changing public perceptions of acceptable is paying off.

And, I just had the new LJ templates imposed on my account (and there doesn't seem to be any way to get rid of them). You're right, the new form sucks pond scum.
( 17 comments — Have your say! )