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Ah, Saturday. The very day there is no point whatsoever in writing a long blog entry, and, so, in keeping with the recurring theme of my life, I shall today write a long blog entry. Actually, this is what happens when I skip a day or two during which I'm actually having a life (as opposed to sitting in this chair, writing).

1) Thanks to everyone who has offered up kindly comments lately. They actually are very much appreciated. However...

2) ...what is the obsession with happiness? I've found myself at odds with this for a long time, but it's becoming a more oppressive force, it seems. The world seems ever more offended by my unhappiness. It's not as if I whine and ask for sympathy. I most emphatically do not. It's not as if I'm out there proselytizing in the name of Misery. No. I am merely who I am. And who I am is the product of forty-eight years during which the rule – the lesson – has been that, in my case, life is pain, both physical and psychological. The older I get, the truer this becomes. This is more of an experiential matter than it is a subjective one. I am the product of my experiences, and the product of my ideological bias against denying the truth of things in order to maintain an illusion of happiness. That ideology, of course, must also, somehow, be the product of my experiences (including the data in my genotype, of course, which shaped my phenotypic brain, whose function is my mind/personality, and so forth). But I've strayed from the point. I see people genuinely offended (many will later recant and say, "Why, I never!") by my unhappiness. Which baffles me. Not like they have to share how I feel. Not like I wish to feel this way. And, more importantly, it's not as if my happiness (or lack thereof) is anyone's business but my own. There exists no social contract obligating me to conform to a prescribed degree of happiness, in order to avoid broadcasting unsightly anti-social vibes.

3) So, we've begun a movie binge, leading up to the list I'll make at the end of the year. Yesterday, we saw Sacha Gervasi's absolutely brilliant Hitchcock, the 2:15 (3:15 p.m. CaST) matinée at the Avon. I went in knowing only that it was a biopic starring Anthony Hopkins and Helen Mirren. Which, I think, was fortunate, as it's not the film I'd have expected it to be, if I'd have been able to form expectations. Audience expectations too often work against an artist. They are almost evil things, expectations. Anyway, yes, a wonderful – and unexpectedly funny – film. High on the list. Bravo. Also, a very good late breakfast yesterday, just before the film, at Classic Café. I had a blueberry pancake. Huge one. Oh, shortly afterwards, the brunt of Draco struck Providence. Torrential rain and winds that rocked our van. But it only lasted about forty-five minutes.

4) Day before yesterday, we wandered about Providence, me not working, vacationing. We visited Paper Nautilus Books (née Mypoic Books; same owner) at Wayland Square. I love that place. We had muffins and coffee at Cafe Zog. There's quite a lot to Providence, when you allow yourself to leave the house. Anyway...

So, we're having coffee, and two kids sit down in the booth behind us. College kids. And they proceed to talk. Very loudly. TALK. It's not a large cafe. It's sort of small and cozy. The sort of place where inside voices are in order. But I'm not sure these two had inside voices. Also, every third word was "like." These kids proceeded to yammer, and to do so, as I have said, very loudly. Every single syllable of every single word must have been perfectly audible from one end of Wickenden Street to the other. Spooky and I ate our muffins, drank our coffee, and tried to be more amused than annoyed. But then the male – who registered a 9.87 on my all-but-infallible gaydar; but whatever – proceeded to howl this yarn about how he and his girlfriend had sex on a plane flight to Dubai. On the plane. Only, he didn't have condoms. And she wasn't on birth control. And they were astounded to reach Dubai and discover they couldn't procure morning-after pills. "I was so happy when she got her period!!!" he exclaimed. Maybe I ought say, "he ejaculated."

"I was so happy when she got her period!!!" he ejaculated.

There comes a point, such a spectacle can no longer pass itself off as even grotesquely amusing. I looked at them over the top of the booth. The girl had her back to me. The guy stared at me. "Will you please shut up?" I asked. Politely. "What?" he asked. "Will you shut the hell up about fucking your girlfriend on a plane flight to Dubai?" I said. His face managed to turn pale and flush at the same time. I have absolutely no idea how he managed that. Finally, a few seconds later, he sputtered out an indignant, "That's none of your business!"

"Then you probably shouldn't be shouting it like you are."

"I can say whatever I want!"

"Me, too. So, shut the fuck up."

To be fair, the girl with him looked mortified. I think his whole "mile-high club" nonsense had worn on her nerves as much as it had on mine and Spooky's. Right about here, I glanced towards the counter, expecting to see that someone who worked there was calling the cops. Instead, the girl behind the counter gave me a thumbs up. I sat back down and finished my coffee. The Loud Talkers stalked out. I win. Better than therapy and/or drugs. I fear this confrontation was an expression of the New Me, born of a most hellish year.

4) A very amusing Xmas card from my agent this morning. "If you're reading this, the world did not end."

---

Okay. Ran longer than I meant. I shall say more on another day (including thoughts on the sick idiocy of the NRA). Tonight, readingthedark is paying us a visit, the first time I'll have socialized in...well, since his last visit, which must have been at least two months ago.

.. -. .--. . .-. .--. . - ..- .- .-.. -- .. ... . .-. -.-- ,
Aunt Beast

Comments

( 31 comments — Have your say! )
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andrian6
Dec. 22nd, 2012 05:41 pm (UTC)
Finally, a few seconds later, he sputtered out an indignant, "That's none of your business!"

"Then you probably shouldn't be shouting it like you are."

"I can say whatever I like!"

"Me, too. So, shut the fuck up."


Apparently, the concept of 'indoor voice' has been lost. What did he expect? Was he subconsciously looking for approval and validation? "Dude, I hear about you bangin' your girl on the plane to Dubai. Awesome! Good job, bro!"
greygirlbeast
Dec. 22nd, 2012 05:44 pm (UTC)

"Dude, I hear about you bangin' your girl on the plane to Dubai. Awesome! Good job, bro!"

There was definitely braggadocio, and I would say over compensation, about the whole thing.
shanejayell
Dec. 22nd, 2012 05:43 pm (UTC)
Ouch. Awkward....
moon_custafer
Dec. 22nd, 2012 06:08 pm (UTC)
"I was so happy when she got her period!!!" he ejaculated.

Nice to see a Tom Swifty in this day and age.
mevennen
Dec. 22nd, 2012 06:36 pm (UTC)
God. Well done. But aren't people great?

A friend of mine got on a flight from Heathrow to NYC and was seated in the middle eat, between a man and a woman. Jut as the plane started to taxi, the woman leaned over my friend and hissed "And another thing...."

She had to tell them to shut up as well.
greygirlbeast
Dec. 22nd, 2012 06:41 pm (UTC)

She had to tell them to shut up as well.

It seems a social responsibility, almost. In defense of sanity.
Jim Leach
Dec. 22nd, 2012 06:38 pm (UTC)
Non-happiness, hell yeah
Maybe you'll find this anecdote amusing, but it's about the blind pursuit of happiness. A couple years ago I started small-m meditation (entirely secular mindfulness based stress reduction) I recently was trying to explain to a capital-M Meditator that one of the coolest results of meditation for me was that I realized how basically lonely and unhappy I am... and that was OK. The look on this person's face was as if I'd just confessed to sodomizing live chickens in the supermarket. The Horror! The Offense!! The Ever So Slightly Condescending Cluck of False Compassion!!! I can't help but grin whenever I remember the incident.
greygirlbeast
Dec. 22nd, 2012 06:40 pm (UTC)
Re: Non-happiness, hell yeah

one of the coolest results of meditation for me was that I realized how basically lonely and unhappy I am... and that was OK. The look on this person's face was as if I'd just confessed to sodomizing live chickens in the supermarket. The Horror! The Offense!! The Ever So Slightly Condescending Cluck of False Compassion!!! I can't help but grin whenever I remember the incident.

Then good for you!
grinkat
Dec. 22nd, 2012 07:01 pm (UTC)
-. .. -.-. . .-.. -.-- / -.. --- -. .
greygirlbeast
Dec. 22nd, 2012 07:13 pm (UTC)

- .... .- -. -.- -.-- --- ..-
ministry_victim
Dec. 22nd, 2012 07:06 pm (UTC)
I think too much happiness is overrated.

Personally, I'm kind of enjoying the dirty-ashtray sky, ashen faces and camaraderie we Canadians enjoy while commiserating over the weather this time of year. It's a sort of communal melancholy.

As for the kid bragging about his mile high experience, I can only say that there are times when I wish I could muster up the courage to do what you've done here. Maybe in time.
greygirlbeast
Dec. 22nd, 2012 07:14 pm (UTC)

communal melancholy.

Good phrase.

I can only say that there are times when I wish I could muster up the courage to do what you've done here.

I haven't yet told the story about telling the Salvation Army woman what a homophobic organization she's collecting money for.
(no subject) - ministry_victim - Dec. 23rd, 2012 03:20 am (UTC) - Expand
cucumberseed
Dec. 22nd, 2012 07:19 pm (UTC)
"I was so happy when she got her period!!!" he ejaculated.

On a plane trip to Dubai, even.

greygirlbeast
Dec. 22nd, 2012 07:22 pm (UTC)

Indeed.
ashlyme
Dec. 22nd, 2012 07:22 pm (UTC)
Well played, Beast, well played.

Just wanted to say I liked the latest SD too - "Untitled 11" is a little corker of a story. Actually, they're both great.
greygirlbeast
Dec. 22nd, 2012 07:23 pm (UTC)

"Untitled 11" is a little corker of a story.

Thank you. Odd it's never been reprinted anywhere.
dipsomaniac
Dec. 22nd, 2012 07:36 pm (UTC)
I love your story about the incident at the coffee shop.
alumiere
Dec. 22nd, 2012 08:17 pm (UTC)
I find the whole 'you have to be happy or you're doing it wrong attitude infuriating. I am occasionally happy, but mostly I'm angry. At everything - at my broken body and brain, at the idiots everywhere, at the fucking weather, ...

This is simply how I work, and I'm fine with that. The angry doesn't make me treat others badly or act out, so leave me the hell alone. I take joy in a lot of things without the slow burn going away. Do not tell me to cheer up, etc - it's not your place to police my emotions.
aarongp
Dec. 23rd, 2012 01:28 am (UTC)
"Me, too. So, shut the fuck up."
Ha ha. Ah, magnificent. There should be far more of putting loud mouths in their place in the world. Good on you, Aunt Beast.

Nice to hear good things about "Hitchcock" as well. Looking forward to seeing that one.

And on the happiness thing, I love how people are so concerned about how you should live your life. That they know far better than you. As if all the external stuff they see is the total representation of your personality, history and worldview.

Jesus bloody Christ, that kind of thing really shits me.
sovay
Dec. 23rd, 2012 01:54 am (UTC)
"I was so happy when she got her period!!!" he ejaculated.

Approve.

How to Destroy Angels, "A Drowning"

Do I need this song?
corucia
Dec. 23rd, 2012 03:29 am (UTC)

I'm betting the loud voice was a deliberate move - part 'let's annoy anyone around', part 'look at what I get up to'. Nice take-downs!

Hitchcock's on the list to see, but first we're hoping to see The Hobbit on Monday.

This weekend's Classic Film was The Maltese Falcon.

Any interest from you or Spooky in limoncello or vanilla-infused rum?

Edited at 2012-12-23 03:30 am (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
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( 31 comments — Have your say! )