This year, I have a motherfucking Xmas tree. Why? Blow me. "But, but...Aunt Beast! Aren't you betraying every fiber and tenant of your ideology, your atheism, your very being?!" Blow me. No one ever bothers to comment, anyway. Also, it's the first live Xmas tree I've had since about 1983. Also, it isn't having to be murdered to be my Xmas tree, and after the holidays we'll be planting it down at Spooky's parents' farm, where it will likely outlive us all three times over. To wit:
Chamaecyparis lawsoniana (photo by Spooky)
By now, all Sirenia Digest subscribers should have #84, our "Special Doomsday Issue." It went out late last night.
Believe it or not, I try not to make fun of stupid people. Well, okay. I sometimes try not to make fun of stupid people. Anyway, when I don't find them angrifying – stupid people – they can be quite amusing. To wit (again!!!), this Amazon "review" of The Drowning Girl: A Memoir, in which Jane Easterly of Somewhere, Illinois, felt compelled to write:
I'm not quite sure how to describe or review this book. I can't really say I enjoyed it, but it kept me interested and I had to keep reading until the end. I'm not even sure what happens in the book, but I think that is part of the author's intent. The scenes of mental illness certainly felt real; the ghost stories, I'm not sure.
And I suppose I ought feel like a shit, since this is sort of positive, since she is positive, in a mealy mouthed sort of way, even though she "can't really say I enjoyed it." Sweet and charitable lady, she is.
Look, folks. The Drowning Girl, it ain't goddamn rocket science. "Felt real"? This is what happens when people spend their lives "reading" Stephen King, Laurell K. Hamilton, Nora Roberts, Tom Clancy, Jim Butcher, et al., instead of actual novels. You grow up dumb. Precious reading comprehension cells never mature. It's bad. Now I'm reading back over the review, and wondering if, instead of being a moron, Miss Easterly is a weird sort of genius. Like, ingeniously clueless. See, it's not as though she's wrong on any particular point. In fact...um, never mind.
I'm a wicked, wicked beast.