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Apologies, kittens, for not replying to many comments the past two days. They've, the days, been sort of rough, and I've been neglectful. I have been reading all the comments.

The weather. Well, it's sort of kind of warm enough that my office window's open. It's 70˚F out there. Fahrenheit. In late June. If the sun would come out, it might feel like 70˚.

---

There is no comfort in faith.
The heavens still will fall.


---

Yesterday was devoured by email and the telephone. My lit agent. My editor at Dark Horse. Stuff and more stuff, and there's a new set of interviews (which I stopped giving at the end of February, I think). But two days with no writing. Today, there won't be writing, either. Today, I attend to two of the interviews – two – then handle the final corrections to the typescript of Blood Oranges.

This is not writing. And, to apply a clichéd metaphor to my current schedule, it's a veritable bull in a china shop, all this not writing. And stress. And anger. And WHOA! Sunlight! Shit...it's gone again. See, this is why vampires in Rhode Island don't sparkle.

---

Yesterday evening, after getting all Jetsons and using to the iPad to watch a PBS American Experience documentary about the building of the Panamá Canal, I couldn't find the stylus. My fingers are too damn big to do anything with out the stylus (so are Spooky's), and I couldn't find it anywhere. An epic half-hour search ensued. I'd been lying on the chaise the whole time, there in the middle parlor, and there was simply nowhere it could have gone. It wasn't under me, and it wasn't beside me, or under any of the loose cushions. We rooted around in the cracks and came up with a Pentex® pen that must be kylecassidy's, a steak knife, titanic dust bunnies, and the missing pair of handcuffs. And then I found the stylus in my goddamn bra. Let this be a lesson to you.

---

A rhetorical question: What is the price of an author's integrity? Yeah, okay. Moral relativity applies. An author who makes boatloads of money, her or his integrity is more valuable than mine, but still. Mine must have a price. There must be a point where, finally, I say "No. That's enough. No more walking on my face. Go walk on someone else's face." Anyway, I think today I'm going to tell an editor (whom I love) to tell a publisher (whose name I cannot even recall) to fuck off. It occurs to me, I'm telling a lot of people to fuck off lately. Not metaphorically, but literally. "Fuck off." Twice now in a week. And not jokingly. It might be a good thing. But it might not be. We shall see.

---

So, the 24th is Spooky's birthday, and, I remind you again, she has a wish list at Amazon, and it's a good one.

While we are on the subject of birthdays – and mobile devices – yesterday I returned a birthday present from a very old and dear friend. In fact, the friend who has been my friend longer than anyone else has been able to endure being my friend, ever since we met in high school back in 1977. Thirty-five years. Half of you weren't even born then. Some of you, your mothers weren't even born then. Anyway, apparently, the friend in question, she didn't know of my War Against Ebooks and the Kindle...and she sent me a very "nice" Kindle for my birthday, with a leather cover and everything. I felt so shitty about returning it, I waffled for the better part of a month. But there was no way I'd ever use the abomination. If I absolutely must read off a digital thingy, I have iBooks on the iPad (aka, Kermit). And no, I do not care whether or not that means I can read ebooks "formatted" for the Kindle. Anyway, she knows I love her more than dirt (and that's saying a lot), and now she also knows (as do you all), not to buy me a Kindle. Because I will not be converted, and I will not be swayed. This is, by the way, why Amazon wish lists are good. Fuck knows, little else about Amazon is good.

Fuck Knows,
Aunt Beast

Comments

( 32 comments — Have your say! )
rae_beta
Jun. 19th, 2012 05:45 pm (UTC)
There is, I think, tremendous power in the realization that you have the right and ability to tell someone or something to fuck off.

Like any power, it's possible to get drunk and giddy and addicted--see roughly the last five years of my personal life for an extended cautionary tale--but it's worth cultivating.

We are taught so early and so persistently that "no" and "stop" and "enough"--and even more, the variations of those that involve swear words, or, god forbid, are preemptive rather than responsive--are expressions of failure. That to push back, hard, is a symptom of not being or doing or wanting or caring enough.

Which is, of course, bullshit. Boundaries are how we stay people, and how we determine who those people are. It's no coincidence that definition and delineation are synonyms.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 19th, 2012 06:03 pm (UTC)

There is, I think, tremendous power in the realization that you have the right and ability to tell someone or something to fuck off.

The power of NO.

Like any power, it's possible to get drunk and giddy and addicted

This is what I am trying to avoid.

We are taught so early and so persistently that "no" and "stop" and "enough"--and even more, the variations of those that involve swear words, or, god forbid, are preemptive rather than responsive--are expressions of failure. That to push back, hard, is a symptom of not being or doing or wanting or caring enough.

Yes! I may quote this tomorrow. Unless you mind.
(no subject) - rae_beta - Jun. 19th, 2012 06:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - greygirlbeast - Jun. 19th, 2012 06:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
cucumberseed
Jun. 19th, 2012 05:46 pm (UTC)
You reminded me of that song's existence in an hour of hopeless rage, and for that I thank you. I am listening now.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 19th, 2012 06:04 pm (UTC)

You are welcome. It has seen me through many dark and angry days.
griffinwords
Jun. 19th, 2012 05:52 pm (UTC)
There's a free Kindle app for your iPad, if you ever come across a MOBI file you absolutely need to read.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 19th, 2012 06:04 pm (UTC)

There's a free Kindle app for your iPad,

No.
martianmooncrab
Jun. 19th, 2012 06:09 pm (UTC)
I couldn't find the stylus

I immediately blame the cat. Even when I was catless.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 19th, 2012 06:47 pm (UTC)

I immediately blame the cat. Even when I was cat less.

Nah, Hubero doesn't give a shit. Though the thought crossed our minds (but he was asleep at the time).
stsisyphus
Jun. 19th, 2012 07:45 pm (UTC)
We rooted around in the cracks and came up with a Pentex® pen that must be kylecassidy's, a steak knife, titanic dust bunnies, and the missing pair of handcuffs.

Kyle either was trying to work on his escapology routine, or the dust bunnies have turned to diabolism.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 19th, 2012 09:47 pm (UTC)

Kyle either was trying to work on his escapology routine, or the dust bunnies have turned to diabolism.

Or....
(no subject) - stsisyphus - Jun. 19th, 2012 10:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - greygirlbeast - Jun. 20th, 2012 12:08 am (UTC) - Expand
mb2u
Jun. 19th, 2012 09:33 pm (UTC)
Whenever things go missing, we always look under the cat. Not because he takes things, but because, somehow things just seem to end up there. We accept this as part of our reality.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 19th, 2012 09:47 pm (UTC)

Whenever things go missing, we always look under the cat. Not because he takes things, but because, somehow things just seem to end up there. We accept this as part of our reality.

Wow.
robyn_ma
Jun. 19th, 2012 10:21 pm (UTC)
I sympathize with your animosity towards the Kindle and the like, I honestly do. But I can think of one good purpose it might've served. If my mom, with her neurological disease causing shaky hands, erratic grip and poor eyesight, had lived to use the Kindle app on my iPad, she might have enjoyed getting to read books again. And my co-worker's son, who has severe mobility/dexterity issues and brain damage due to a car accident, could also benefit from it. (I've been hipping his mom to the world of digital comics.)

Not meaning to contradict you; I am as passionate about the look, feel, heft, smell of real books as you are (working in a library, I'd have to be). Mostly you see perfectly able-bodied yo-yos reading Kindles when they could have the real thing. But occasionally, just occasionally, they can be a Force for Good. I just wish I could've told someone like dear old Ray Bradbury, who stood foursquare against e-books except for Fahrenheit 451 near the end of his life: 'Mr. Bradbury, I completely understand your aversion. But meet ****, who can only comfortably read your books on a screen. He would prefer to read an actual book; he would prefer to be able to do a lot of things. But he can't, and by keeping most of your wonderful books out of e-publishing you're kind of turning your back on him and many others like him.'
greygirlbeast
Jun. 20th, 2012 12:04 am (UTC)

(I've been hipping his mom to the world of digital comics.)

Comics are the one thing that I see digital publishing improving.

Otherwise, large-print books com pined with various supports, they already did the job for the disabled, and were more environmentally friendly.

occasionally, just occasionally, they can be a Force for Good.

Like Vin Diesel.

But he can't, and by keeping most of your wonderful books out of e-publishing you're kind of turning your back on him and many others like him.

I know I'm an asshole, but that's my position (not that my publishers will buy books unless I sell them digital rights, and how's that for democracy?). I am simply, across the board, against. You know, I'll never get to visit the Eiffel Tower. Or climb Mount Everest. Or fuck a thousand-dollar whore, but that's the way the world goes. Regardless, the disabled are a TINY percentage of those "benefiting," probably far less than 1%. The publishing industry would never have done this for the disabled. Ever.
agree to disagree - Jada Walker - Jun. 20th, 2012 02:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: agree to disagree - greygirlbeast - Jun. 20th, 2012 04:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
Steven Barritz
Jun. 19th, 2012 11:19 pm (UTC)
It's too bad Amazon wishlist doesn't allow you to pay for part of a present. If it were possible, many people could join together to pay for the $431.99 Dark Shadows set.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 20th, 2012 12:05 am (UTC)

Yeah, that one's kind of over the top. She's acknowledged that. Still it is a *wish* list.
thimbleofrain
Jun. 19th, 2012 11:24 pm (UTC)
When it comes to moving someplace warm and on the water, remember that you'll still need decent healthcare. That's what keeps me from seriously considering Brazil. Too much time spent in India.

I've found that acting with integrity is usually its own reward, and punishment.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 20th, 2012 12:07 am (UTC)

When it comes to moving someplace warm and on the water, remember that you'll still need decent healthcare. That's what keeps me from seriously considering Brazil. Too much time spent in India.

Well...that's valid point. Though, having zero health insurance, my healthcare likely approaches Third World, as is. In India, I could cheaply get many drugs OVER THE COUNTER that I pay a small fortune for, as prescriptions, here.

I've found that acting with integrity is usually its own reward, and punishment.

Yes.
(no subject) - thimbleofrain - Jun. 20th, 2012 06:25 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - greygirlbeast - Jun. 20th, 2012 04:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
aarongp
Jun. 20th, 2012 12:09 am (UTC)
The thing I find most detestable about ebook readers is people's blind acceptance. They are simply too terrified to say no to this "rolling juggernaut", even if they want to.
I think it comes down to people's fear of technology, that they are too lazy to research this stuff themselves and too chicken shit to decide to choose not to accept them.

I work in a library and every time I hear some goose placidly chime at me something about how it's the way things are going, I want to hurdle the desk and throttle their idiot-grinning neck, them scream at them--"No, you have a choice.'

re. the iPad stylus.
At least you'll know where to look next time you can't find something in particular.



Edited at 2012-06-20 12:10 am (UTC)
greygirlbeast
Jun. 20th, 2012 12:32 am (UTC)

The thing I find most detestable about ebook readers is people's blind acceptance. They are simply too terrified to say no to this "rolling juggernaut", even if they want to.
I think it comes down to people's fear of technology, that they are too lazy to research this stuff themselves and too chicken shit to decide to choose not to accept them.


I think it's not quite this simple. It's this, but you also have to factor in humanity's love of gizmos.

"No, you have a choice.'

Ah, but industry determines choice...

At least you'll know where to look next time you can't find something in particular.

Lots of weird things wind up in my underwear.

Edited at 2012-06-20 12:32 am (UTC)
whiskeychick
Jun. 20th, 2012 01:57 am (UTC)
Pushing back, having your say, and doing what's right for you -- that's freedom, that's being empowered. That's fucking sanity.

Good for you.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 20th, 2012 04:01 pm (UTC)

Pushing back, having your say, and doing what's right for you -- that's freedom, that's being empowered. That's fucking sanity.


So say we all. And, thus far, it's working for me. Mostly.
esanko
Jun. 20th, 2012 05:03 am (UTC)
.
I know we don't know each other, but say this with me, loud and proud- "Fu*k off. Motherfu*ker". Notice I'm not actually using any naughty words here. Get the fu*k out of my face. Fu*k you. Feels good... fu*k you, assho*e.
Starting an Elasmosaurus sculpt- the armature- 43 ft animal, 1/15 scale. I met with Dr. Kenneth Carpenter (he's maybe 5 foot tall, utterly brilliant, at the Denver museum), some interesting ideas, the animal may have had scutes on it's dorsal surface, the tail may have had a fin, the paddles were huge, much larger than the bones suggest, and the animal could not raise it's head vertically. It was not snatching Pterosaurs out of the sky, nope, it was dipping it's head DOWN to snag fish. Further research on lateral extension capabilities pending.
I don't know what to say about Blood Oranges except that I will read it, AND understand that it's a parody. Still looking forward to it because it's you.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 20th, 2012 04:05 pm (UTC)
Re: .

I met with Dr. Kenneth Carpenter (he's maybe 5 foot tall, utterly brilliant, at the Denver museum),

Yep. Once, we were professional acquaintances. While in Colorado, I worked on mosasaurs he collected in Wyoming.
( 32 comments — Have your say! )