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Not the Remainder of the Review

Often, I think, Fuck, the human race is getting even stupider. But that's not true. What is true is that there are far more people than when I first formed my opinion about how stupid is the human race, as a whole, and – this is the part that truly matters – we are now being treated to the stupidity of an outrageously pointless number of people. Hence, the illusion that the human race is getting stupider. Thank you, internet.

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A couple of weeks back, I hit a wall. It's a complicated wall, with many sharp edges, and I hit it at high speed, and some of it's work and some of it's personal (truthfully, most of it's work-related). All of it fairly awful. Thing is, it's begun to affect my ability to work. I'm allowing it to affect my ability to work. This part is a little perplexing. My career has always been shit, and I've pretty much never been happy on any other level, either. So...why now? Is this some bullshit midlife crisis? In the end, all that matters is that I have to get back on the horse. Tomorrow. Fuck the rest.

Actually, no. Retraction. Beginning months ago, I've been hitting a series of low barricades, getting kneecapped. They are complicated barricades, with many sharp edges, and I hit them at high speed, and some of it's work and some of it's personal. All of it fairly awful. Then, last week, I hit a fairly small one – as these barricades have measured – but it may have been the proverbial backbreaking straw. But...broken back or no...in the end, all that matters is that I have to get back on the horse. Tomorrow. Fuck the rest.

Low,
Aunt Beast

Comments

( 10 comments — Have your say! )
ashlyme
Jun. 11th, 2012 09:53 pm (UTC)
Sorry to hear, Beast. Anything we can do to help?
greygirlbeast
Jun. 11th, 2012 09:59 pm (UTC)

Anything we can do to help?

Nope. But thanks for asking.
(Deleted comment)
greygirlbeast
Jun. 11th, 2012 11:28 pm (UTC)

I abide.
lilith_333
Jun. 11th, 2012 11:44 pm (UTC)
I wish you tenacity and an improved outlook. I've been experiencing some "burn-out" myself, probably for reasons very different than you. However, I feel like there's a general miasma of stress and desperation in America right now, especially among educated and intelligent people. We've a political circus at the moment, the right-wing mentality is becoming increasingly more pervasive, and we're generally experiencing the "growing pains" of a time of transition in society. I'm realizing that what matters to me and people like me - education, preservation of culture, free speech, social services, equality and non-discrimination, America as a meritocracy, and so forth - are NOT what matters to the people in power or to many other Americans. That's more than enough by itself to put me in a state of perpetual malaise, leaving aside all my other issues.

It's my experience that nothing in my life is "exempt" when I am having a hard time. For a long time I prided myself that no matter what was going on with me, it didn't touch my work. In the past few years I've had some pretty graphic demonstrations of how that's not always true. I've stopped beating myself up when problems in my life spill over into many arenas; sometimes that's just the way it is and, moreover, it's a strong indicator that there's something going on that I need to address.

alumiere
Jun. 11th, 2012 11:53 pm (UTC)
I wish there was something I or any of us could do. If there is, please let us know - I'm sure I am not the only one who would be happy to try and make things a bit easier.
scarletboi
Jun. 12th, 2012 02:17 am (UTC)
I'm pushing to make World Horror Con in NOLA. There, hugs shall be given.
corucia
Jun. 12th, 2012 03:36 am (UTC)

I'll add to the chorus - just let me know if there's anything I can do to help. When I get in similar moods, which seem to come more frequently these days, a nice glass of my limoncello or vanilla rum sometimes helps. I've recently made fresh batches of both, but I'm doubtful they'd survive the trip through the mail system, or I'd send some along...
sfmarty
Jun. 12th, 2012 04:20 am (UTC)
Of course I comiserate, but everyone I know is having a shit year. Me included. This year just has to get better.
broknmirrorgirl
Jun. 12th, 2012 05:20 am (UTC)
I am sorry you are having a particularly awful time of things right now, but I wanted to say thank you for all you do. I have been going through a rough patch and have found great comfort reading and rereading books you wrote. Just know that what you do matters greatly and has changed my life in some fantastic ways since I read Silk and Threshold years ago.
martianmooncrab
Jun. 12th, 2012 05:29 am (UTC)
there are far more people

between advances in medicine and quicker response times by Police and EMTS... medical helos, GPS, seat belts, and other technologies, the stupid people dont die as often as before.

Then they breed.
( 10 comments — Have your say! )