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Don't forget, kittens, today is Krampus Day. Behave accordingly.

Bodies, can't you see what everybody wants from you?
If you could want that, too, then you'll be happy.
~ St. Vincent, "Cruel"

Yesterday, I wrote 1,241 words and so began "Another Tale of Two Cities" for Sirenia Digest. I'm hoping very much that it will be finished on the evening of the 7th, at the latest. It might be called science fiction, but I'd rather just call it weird erotica. And speaking of the evening of the 7th, I'm very much hoping to see more replies to the Question @ Hand #5 by then.

Last week, I stopped myself from buying an iPhone, though I seem to need one. In part, I stopped myself out of fear of another wave of "buyer's remorse," such as experienced recently, immediately after purchasing Kermit the iPad. Which I seemed to need for work. Since that purchase, by the way, I have found about fifty wonderful uses for Kermit the iPad...but not a single one of them has been work related*. Sure, endless mobile Japanese porn – no denying that rocks – but not exactly what my editors mean when they speak of "increased connectivity." In the Elder Days, by the way, we just said "easier to contact." Anyway, I didn't buy the iPhone, because (even though my cellphone is a pile of bantha dung), near as I can tell the iPhone and the iPad do exactly the same thing. Only, the iPhone has a vastly smaller screen and keys (and the virtual keys on my iPad are already too small for my admittedly large fingers), and I'll be damned if I can figure out a single useful thing the iPhone does that Kermit the iPad doesn't already do. Well, except make phone calls. And I hate making, and receiving, phone calls. Besides, technically, the iPad does permit video calls, all Jetson-like, using either FaceTime or Skype. Of course, the thought of a video call terrifies me beyond words. It's bad enough that callers can hear me. Let them see me, too? Anyway, point is, other than the fact that the iPhone is much smaller, and therefore even more mobile...why bother? And, by the way, you know, I hope, that all this increased connectivity nonsense, it's nothing but a) a means for the CIA, NSA, BTFA, DHS, and aliens from Planet X to keep track of you, and b) is being sold to us so that we never have a moment free of the grinding machine of capitalism (yes, excessive socialization aids and abets the agenda of the New World Order).

Damn, that's a long paragraph.

Probably, I ought to stop now. Only, I'll first point out that – following this thread – ebooks do the same thing as books, only not as well, and the ones you buy today will PROBABLY be inaccessible in a few years, and you can't donate them to libraries, or leave them to anyone. Meanwhile, my hard copies might well be accessible five hundred years from now, and can be bequeathed to loved ones. However, "we" are increasingly a selfish and short-sighted species (this makes my life easier = this is good), now more than ever before, so none of this is relevant. But I'm beating a dead horse. Whack, whack, whack.

Staring at Kermit,
Aunt Beast

* Spooky says this is not true, as all of Blood Oranges was proofed on the iPad. I will qualify, and say that actually she only used it to read along while I read the hard-copy ms. aloud and made marks on it. Still, I suppose she has a point.

Comments

( 38 comments — Have your say! )
ashlyme
Dec. 5th, 2011 06:01 pm (UTC)
I'd never heard of Krampus Day before, but I approve. Sadly there aren't any children round here to scare! But the masks in that article are wonderful.

*increased connectivity nonsense*

Yeah. Massively over-rated, and it makes me reach for my tinfoil hat. At least I'm more likely to be LJ than Facebook these days - I've only got so many brain cells I can afford to lose. I wonder what PKD would've made of it all.

Would you post a list of SF novels that influenced you at some point?
greygirlbeast
Dec. 5th, 2011 06:08 pm (UTC)

I wonder what PKD would've made of it all.

A LOT. And I won't get into what William S. Burroughs would have said.


Also, the horns of the Krampus are damned sexy.


Would you post a list of SF novels that influenced you at some point?


Well, I don't really draw a distinction between fantasy and sf, and there were a few "sf" titles included in yesterday's list...but I'll make a specifically "sf" list for tomorrow's entry (which will have to be accompanied by an operative definition of science fiction).
(no subject) - ashlyme - Dec. 5th, 2011 06:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - greygirlbeast - Dec. 5th, 2011 06:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - corucia - Dec. 5th, 2011 11:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - greygirlbeast - Dec. 6th, 2011 02:26 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - corucia - Dec. 6th, 2011 03:30 am (UTC) - Expand
cucumberseed
Dec. 5th, 2011 06:09 pm (UTC)
If only the Krampus practiced birching on foolish and wicked adults, it would be my favorite holdiay ever.
greygirlbeast
Dec. 5th, 2011 06:17 pm (UTC)

Agreed.

Edited at 2011-12-06 02:26 am (UTC)
slothman
Dec. 5th, 2011 06:36 pm (UTC)
I find it very handy to have a smartphone so I can run EverNote and jot down notes wherever I am and then trivially access them on a regular desktop computer. obsessivewoman is much happier now that the “evil laughter in the middle of the night” phenomenon is accompanied only by the dim light of my turning on the screen of my phone and writing down whatever story idea showed up in my brain, rather than having me turn on the bedside lamp to jot it down on a piece of paper.

I hear it makes phone calls, too, but I almost never use that function.
greygirlbeast
Dec. 5th, 2011 06:43 pm (UTC)

I find it very handy to have a smartphone so I can run EverNote and jot down notes wherever I am and then trivially access them on a regular desktop computer. [info]obsessivewoman is much happier now that the “evil laughter in the middle of the night” phenomenon is accompanied only by the dim light of my turning on the screen of my phone and writing down whatever story idea showed up in my brain, rather than having me turn on the bedside lamp to jot it down on a piece of paper.

I find none of this even the least bit persuasive. I have no interest in spending hundreds of dollars for a gadget that does what I already can do. And a gadget that will be obsolete (as planned) in a few years, requiring the purchase of ANOTHER expensive gadget.

I prefer my Moleskine for the jotting down of notes, with my mechanical pencil.
(no subject) - cucumberseed - Dec. 6th, 2011 03:16 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - greygirlbeast - Dec. 6th, 2011 03:47 am (UTC) - Expand
sovay
Dec. 5th, 2011 07:28 pm (UTC)
Don't forget, kittens, today is Krampus Day. Behave accordingly.

Hell. I don't think I have the requisite horns.

all this increased connectivity nonsense

Yes. The constantly heightening levels of surveillance. Your e-mail is transparent and your face is all over the screens you didn't even know were there. Writing hardcopy letters starts to feel like the only sane mode of communication, except that yesterday I was informed there are now cameras on postboxes.
greygirlbeast
Dec. 5th, 2011 09:21 pm (UTC)

Hell. I don't think I have the requisite horns.

Neither do I, which is a shame.

The constantly heightening levels of surveillance. Your e-mail is transparent and your face is all over the screens you didn't even know were there. Writing hardcopy letters starts to feel like the only sane mode of communication, except that yesterday I was informed there are now cameras on postboxes.

Yes to all.
(no subject) - corucia - Dec. 5th, 2011 09:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - greygirlbeast - Dec. 5th, 2011 10:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - sovay - Dec. 5th, 2011 10:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - greygirlbeast - Dec. 5th, 2011 10:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - sovay - Dec. 5th, 2011 10:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - greygirlbeast - Dec. 6th, 2011 02:25 am (UTC) - Expand
aliceoddcabinet
Dec. 5th, 2011 08:29 pm (UTC)
You're right, you don't need an iPhone. Especially since you have a tablet. The iPhone thing I think works for people who have a very running-aroundish, havingtonsofmeetings, travelingforworkalot kind of life. I think your buyer's remorse would be enormous. And you're right: The iPad's a Giant Cell Phone. That doesn't make phone calls. BUT, I do find tablets useful for some things. So having the tablet makes sense. But I think your instincts were right on the iPhone.

Re: The Archival Problems of eBooks
...I don't really have any more to say. My Domesday Book anecdote sums it up for me. But then again, I work at the *fracking* PROVIDENCE ATHENAEUM, so ... that says something about personal ideas/feelings about The Future, I suppose.
greygirlbeast
Dec. 5th, 2011 09:23 pm (UTC)

The iPhone thing I think works for people who have a very running-aroundish, havingtonsofmeetings, travelingforworkalot kind of life.

Well, this is what I fear may be coming my way.

But then again, I work at the *fracking* PROVIDENCE ATHENAEUM, so ... that says something about personal ideas/feelings about The Future, I suppose.

Very lucky, you.
everville340
Dec. 5th, 2011 09:12 pm (UTC)
In the Elder Days, by the way, we just said "easier to contact."...It's bad enough that callers can hear me. Let them see me, too?

A wholeheartedly paganistic amen to those thoughts. I yearn wistfully for the Elder Days.
greygirlbeast
Dec. 5th, 2011 09:23 pm (UTC)

They are gone, and will not come again.

Edited at 2011-12-05 09:24 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - everville340 - Dec. 5th, 2011 10:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - greygirlbeast - Dec. 5th, 2011 10:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
jessamyg
Dec. 5th, 2011 09:23 pm (UTC)
I only own a cellphone at all because my wife insists I need one. The only use I really have for it is when she texts me almost indecipherable notes supposedly telling me what to pick up at the shops. Sometimes it takes me as long to work out what she actually wants me to get as it would take for me to travel home, ask her what we need, then go back to the bloody shop.

And sod electronic book readers of any ilk. Give me a real book and I will hug it and kiss it and call it George.
greygirlbeast
Dec. 5th, 2011 09:25 pm (UTC)

Sometimes it takes me as long to work out what she actually wants me to get as it would take for me to travel home, ask her what we need, then go back to the bloody shop.

Thank you. This is the only thing that has made me laugh today.
captaincurt81
Dec. 5th, 2011 10:41 pm (UTC)
Selfish & Shortsighted
This award goes to the ladies who arrive in the bookstore clutching Nordstrom's shopping bags but decline the request to donate a book to a needy child. "No, I'm good."
greygirlbeast
Dec. 5th, 2011 10:42 pm (UTC)
Re: Selfish & Shortsighted

Indeed.
thimbleofrain
Dec. 6th, 2011 12:12 am (UTC)
The iPad and the iPhone are nearly redundant. The iPhone is more convenient if you’re on the move (and it’s a phone), so it’s the one I use more. I also keep my old BlackBerry Bold for when I travel abroad so that I can pop a local SIM in it. (The iPhone uses a mini SIM.)

Who is your mobile carrier? They should have decent phones that you can pick up for free with your plan renewal.
greygirlbeast
Dec. 6th, 2011 02:21 am (UTC)

a local SIM in it.

SIM?
(no subject) - thimbleofrain - Dec. 6th, 2011 07:53 am (UTC) - Expand
sylvarthorne
Dec. 6th, 2011 01:50 am (UTC)
Even hardcopy books these days are intended to be obsolete. Unless books are printed on ragstock paper (not woodpulp, regardless of archival quality of the paper and proper acid/humidity/UV regulation), it's difficult to keep them in readable condition for any real length of time (i.e., >80 years). But then, if you're keeping them at that level of regulation, it's not really in a readable condition.

I have a small handful (literally - four) of books that were printed in the late 19th century, then another handful from the early 20th. I love them as beautiful, treasured artifacts, but a recent visit with my university's special collections archivist helped put the transitory nature of the printed form into perspective.

Not to rain on your parade - more intended as a commiseration. Ebooks make me sad, too. (Yeah. I leaned in and sniffed the 500-year-old book. I successfully managed to not drool on it, too.)
greygirlbeast
Dec. 6th, 2011 02:24 am (UTC)

I have a small handful (literally - four) of books that were printed in the late 19th century,

I think I have about twenty.

Not to rain on your parade - more intended as a commiseration.

Well, you haven't, not really. I know most contemporary books are crap. Don't even get me started about mmp/tp. Those things might last a century. But the subpress books, those will last. And even at only a century on the others, beats the hell out of the electronic stuff.
(no subject) - sylvarthorne - Dec. 6th, 2011 03:23 am (UTC) - Expand
whiskeychick
Dec. 6th, 2011 06:21 pm (UTC)
Damn those good partners for pointing out the antithesis of our point.

You got an iPad before me. That's kind of scary.
( 38 comments — Have your say! )