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This this thought just crossed my mind.

Poll #1778843 In the event of a werewolf attack....

You're sleeping outdoors in a van. An enormous motherfucking werewolf attacks, slashing open the side of the vehicle. Your death is certain. In the last moment before you are shredded and devoured, you would:

Scream like a girl.
36(23.7%)
Mutter something like "Oh, fuck," or "Shit."
34(22.4%)
Say, "You have got to be fucking kidding me.
53(34.9%)
Defiantly cry out, "Okay! Let's dance, cocksucker!"
29(19.1%)

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Comments

( 37 comments — Have your say! )
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mrs_ralph
Sep. 15th, 2011 11:18 pm (UTC)
Lately everything has been greeted with 'Oh for fuck's sake' and since everything is dealing with building works with lots of loud noises and crashing it is very like a giant motherfucking werewolf has ripped apart my flat. In fact I kind of wonder about that builder with the predatory smile. Werewolf? Who knows...
cluegirl
Sep. 15th, 2011 11:18 pm (UTC)
a) freeze like a rabbit, beyond even the mental capacity for words, or b) get my head bitten off like a chocolate easter rabbit whilst scrabbling for some kind of weapon. I don't think there would be a scream though. Most definitely not words. A gasp, at best.
seph_ski
Sep. 15th, 2011 11:19 pm (UTC)
I really wanted to vote for the 3rd or 4th option, but realistically, #1 is most likely.
spross
Sep. 15th, 2011 11:25 pm (UTC)
I'd love to claim I'd do the last one, but truthfully, based on past experiences, I'd have to say "Scream like a girl." :-(
catconley
Sep. 15th, 2011 11:27 pm (UTC)
I picked option #4 for my *very* last moment, but must admit that my next-to-last moment(s) would probably include wetting my sleeping bag and possibly vomiting. Mass exodus of bodily fluids for sure.
tsarina
Sep. 15th, 2011 11:28 pm (UTC)
It was super hard to decide between options two and three. I imagine though, brevity will win out though. That and I swear way too much sometimes.
thecoughlin
Sep. 15th, 2011 11:34 pm (UTC)
There would be a #2/#4 sequence, and generally use plain old "fucker" when inviting someone to dance, so there would likely be time for both.

Flight didn't work for me early in life, so I only have the fight circuit left. Gets me fired a lot.
whiskeychick
Sep. 15th, 2011 11:39 pm (UTC)
I'm with you. Although mine would probably be a #3 - #4 sequence. I really don't have time for dying. But if I gotta go, tango dancing with a werewolf would be epic.
(no subject) - albionidaho - Sep. 16th, 2011 06:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
shanejayell
Sep. 15th, 2011 11:49 pm (UTC)
Not gonna lie, Scream like a girl. *lol*
phaedrine
Sep. 15th, 2011 11:50 pm (UTC)
I would like to think I'd say #4, but I would probably scream "Fuck!" like a girl. In my head, though, that logical voice of mine would totally be going, "A werewolf? Really? Really?"
livia_llewellyn
Sep. 15th, 2011 11:54 pm (UTC)
Honestly, I think I would just say: "Yes." And then open my arms.
gairid
Sep. 16th, 2011 12:05 am (UTC)
I know I'd just say 'Oh, fuck's sake.' which is what I say in many situations---I imagine that my disbelief would subdue my otherwise scream like a girl reaction.
stillsostrange
Sep. 16th, 2011 12:13 am (UTC)
The likelihood of me being mauled to death by a large animal is already high (due to a poorly developed self preservation/common sense mechanism) and I'm pretty sure my last words will be something like "Aww, look at the fuzzy tummy!"

I will never claim this death is not my own damn fault.
vrykolakes
Sep. 16th, 2011 12:22 am (UTC)
I'd wonder how my ex-girlfriend managed to find me.
thefemaleknight
Sep. 16th, 2011 12:52 am (UTC)
I would scream like a little baby and probably wet myself. :(
cucumberseed
Sep. 16th, 2011 01:24 am (UTC)
Though, only in my head. What the werewolf would hear is just the "whuff" of air going out of my lungs with maybe a little strangled half-cry that would probably be an essay to the "fuck" or "shit" territory.
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( 37 comments — Have your say! )