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My morning was going rather shitty (resuming a course begun last night), but then I saw someone refer to Orson Scott Card as a "howling bigoted douchemonkey," and I almost laughed, and now I feel a little better. Also, I've been sleeping like crazy, which is a tad bizarre. Vaults of sleep. Too much wandering in the watery Dreamlands. These days, always do I dream of water. Also, I might be getting a headache.

Yesterday, I did a metric shit-ton of work on those acoustic particle destab...wait. What was I saying? I knew a moment ago, then there was this bright flash before my eyes, and now I have no idea whatsoever. That is so fucking weird. It just keeps happening. But...um...yeah, I did a lot of work yesterday. And I sent "John Four" to S. T. Joshi, who wanted to read it. If he decides to reprint it for a forthcoming anthology, I might decide to expand it a bit (because, you know, spare time spills forth from my asshole). And I emailed Michel Zulli. And I received news from Penguin that the delayed (by a hurricane) CEM for The Drowning Girl should arrive here today. I'm praying it got fucking lost somewhere in Connecticut, and will remain so for at least a week*.

And you know, a leech (Hirudinea) is such an honest organism, even among other oligocheates. No frills, no fussing about with frippery.

This society needs less enthusiasm, less opportunity to express its opinion, and more time spent in quiet reflection.

Oh, last night? Thank you for asking. Perfectly wretched, but, truly, I've no one to blame but myself. I would say there was lousy RP in Insilico last night, but that would imply there was RP in Insilico last night, and there wasn't. Yet, for some psychotic reason, I waited around for more than two hours. Oh, yes. Because there was supposed to be RP. But...whining ooc drama trumps all else in SL, and almost all the good RPers have flung themselves into the abyss of the virtual bureaucracy of sim administration...which means they rarely have time to RP...and really, that was only the tip of how everything kept going crappy last night.

But! All was not lost. I had Valium and Vincent D'Onofrio! And Vincent D'Onofrio makes even the most sour night a little less so. An "actor's actor," I have heard him called, even as I have been called a "writer's writer." These, kittens, are what are known as backhanded compliments, or consolation prizes, or what the fuck ever. But! Just give me ponygirls, a glass dildo, and the brain of Vincent D'Onofrio, and you'll hear not one complaint from me. Oh, and a little Oxycodone. That would sweeten the pot, yes.

Oh, I also read another story from The Book of Cthulhu, W. H. Pugmire's "Some Buried Memory," which was delicious, because Pugmire is brilliant. Alas, there are not many more good stories in this (largely) reprint anthology that I've either not read previously or which I won't deign to read. Here's my thing (as Lara Means would say): Except in extraordinarily rare instances, you either approach the work of Lovecraft with a straight face, or you leave it the hell alone. Bring humor and parody to the table, and usually you'll make a fool of yourself and embarrass others. Bring irony, that's worse still. Do it right, or don't do it, but for fuck's sake, stop with the attempts at too-cool-for-school hipster and/or pseudo-intellectual comedy. There have been exceptions, a tiny handful, such as Neil's "Shoggoth's Old Peculiar." As the Mythbusters say, these exceptions are not something you should try at home. Keep your cuddly Cthulhu slippers and plushie Azathoths to yourselves and far away from me. Anyway, too much of The Book of Cthulhu is given over to the funny which is not funny. There are probably half a dozen good stories I've yet to read, at best. Which is a shame.

Did I mention Vincent D'Onofrio?

Dry and Humorless,
Aunt Beast

* It's here. Let this fresh hell begin.

Comments

( 22 comments — Have your say! )
ashlyme
Sep. 8th, 2011 07:02 pm (UTC)
Save us from Cthulhu furry toys. Perhaps someone should write a story where a resurrected Lovecraft takes his revenge on these fuckwits (Brian Lumley, I'm looking at you).

Obviously, the Old Gent could do a good pulp parody - d'you rate "Herbest West" at all? But I know that's not your point. Neil's story works because he *isn't* sending up the Mythos.

I've not, I think, seen anything with D'Onofronio in - any recommendations?
ashlyme
Sep. 8th, 2011 07:08 pm (UTC)
D'Onofrio, even. Sorry.
greygirlbeast
Sep. 8th, 2011 07:35 pm (UTC)

Save us from Cthulhu furry toys. Perhaps someone should write a story where a resurrected Lovecraft takes his revenge on these fuckwits (Brian Lumley, I'm looking at you).

Problem is, if I wrote such a story, it would, by definition, only be another parody, no matter how much it might be needed.


I've not, I think, seen anything with D'Onofronio in - any recommendations?


Start with The Whole Wide World, then move on to The Cell (and ignore "J-Lo's" bullshit performance, because it's a beautiful film).
ashlyme
Sep. 8th, 2011 09:13 pm (UTC)
Thanks.
(Deleted comment)
greygirlbeast
Sep. 8th, 2011 08:19 pm (UTC)

Sorry you are entering yet another hell.

Dante lied about the number of levels. They're infinite.
(Deleted comment)
greygirlbeast
Sep. 8th, 2011 08:52 pm (UTC)

I am certain you don't have to die to enter.

No. That's a myth for sure.
joshrupp
Sep. 8th, 2011 08:42 pm (UTC)
I'm confused. Would D'Onofrio's brain be implanted in the pony girl, or would you just ... hold it, or something?
greygirlbeast
Sep. 8th, 2011 08:53 pm (UTC)

Would D'Onofrio's brain be implanted in the pony girl, or would you just ... hold it, or something?

Well, all my bizarre perversions aside, I would prefer if it came inside his body.
sovay
Sep. 8th, 2011 10:47 pm (UTC)
It's here. Let this fresh hell begin.

Let me know if there's anything I can do.
greygirlbeast
Sep. 8th, 2011 11:51 pm (UTC)

Let me know if there's anything I can do.

Got pony girls?
sovay
Sep. 9th, 2011 06:18 am (UTC)
Got pony girls?

I wish.

I'll ask rushthatspeaks.
nightwitch
Sep. 8th, 2011 10:55 pm (UTC)
I like Lovecraft very much, though I have to take him in small doses because the world he creates is so bleak. I agree - you come to the work with a straight face, or don't bother attempting it at all. Any way else would be rude and disrespectful to a great writer.
greygirlbeast
Sep. 8th, 2011 11:52 pm (UTC)

though I have to take him in small doses because the world he creates is so bleak.

Unlike my world, with is My Little Ponies and Strawberry Shortcake.
fornikate
Sep. 9th, 2011 01:38 am (UTC)
Now I want to watch The Cell again. Mmm, D'Onofrio.

I will share my Vicodin. Apparently my gallbladder has to come out, so I have plenty until the surgery.
greygirlbeast
Sep. 9th, 2011 06:04 am (UTC)

Now I want to watch The Cell again. Mmm, D'Onofrio.

Yes!

I will share my Vicodin

That would be...better than pony girls. Really.
fornikate
Sep. 9th, 2011 02:17 pm (UTC)
Chronic pain is the worst.
scotchegg
Sep. 9th, 2011 04:10 am (UTC)
"This society needs less enthusiasm, less opportunity to express its opinion, and more time spent in quiet reflection."

yes, please.
greygirlbeast
Sep. 9th, 2011 06:04 am (UTC)

Enthusiasm is the mother of consternation.
subtlesttrap
Sep. 9th, 2011 09:37 pm (UTC)
Sirenia #69
Just finished #69 and I must say that you nailed your Mars vernacular and I absolutely loved the cannibal black magick cult in the Yellow House & the "glass coffin."
Wilum Hopfrog Pugmire
Sep. 24th, 2011 03:17 am (UTC)
Dearest Auntie Beast:--

You are so awesome I cou'd kiss ye to death, my beauty. Thank ye for yr Sweet Words.
--W. H. Pugnacious

( 22 comments — Have your say! )