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"It's a playskool toilet."

The heat inside the house has become almost unendurable. This is not a melodramatic affectation. It genuinely is that hot. Spooky just showed me a map of the country, and I see that much of it is gripped by a heatwave. So, we're going to try to find a cooler place to wait for nightfall.

But a few things first.

My grateful thanks for all the comments yesterday. They're much appreciated.

Several of you suggested I write the entries each day, then post them when I get back. This doesn't work. For one, to keep the promise I made to myself, the entries have to be made on the day they were written, otherwise there will be no entries on those dates. This suggestion would sort of work if LJ would let you backdate entries, but it won't. I'll have no blank spots on the archives calendar. But thanks for the suggestion, regardless.

Also, I'm very glad 1990 was good to some of you, but I don't see where pointing that out to me is in any way productive or considerate.

At this moment I find myself "debt poor." When I was a kid, we'd talk about people being "land poor." That is, they owned a lot of land, but had virtually no income, and couldn't afford to live, much less pay land tax. I'm not "land poor," I'm "debt poor." About half a dozen publishers owe me money, collectively totaling thousands of dollars, and the checks are mostly delinquent. Ergo, "debt poor." NOTE: Subterranean Press is not one of these. They pay me on time. Anyway, I suspect this is true of many freelancers. Increasingly, it seems that publishers feel they can pay authors whenever they finally get around to it, after books have been printed and sold. Oh, and anthology editors are often in the same boat as us freelancers. Until they're paid, we can't be paid. And we are all at the bottom of the food chain, so far as many publishers are concerned. Recall, any food chain collapses if it's bottom (say, zooplankton) collapses. Anyway, not gonna name names, but to quote Malcolm Reynolds (ever quotable Mal), "We're close to gone out here."

Oh, hello acid reflux!

Last night, we finished Season Two of Criminal Intent. We were too hot to move, so we also watched Philip Kaufman's Twisted (2004), which was dull and shot like bad television. This is especially sad, given this is the director who brought us the remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1979), as well as The Right Stuff (1983), The Unbearable Lightness of Being (1988), Henry and June (1990), and the brilliant Quills (2000). Anyway, afterwards, we watched Jennifer Lynch's Surveillance (2008), which I will, unreservedly, call terrific. The most wonderful film of it's sort since Rob Zombie's The Devil's Rejects (2005). Trust me. See it. Oh, be warned, it's mighty darn "triggery."

I have declared war on the putrescent neologism "triggery" and all those simpering shits who whine about anything being "triggery" and how they go on about it being the responsibility of OTHERS to protect them from that which they subjectively deem "triggery." I say to them, "Fuck you. Take some responsibility for yourselves, or fuck off." And as I've said, I say this as someone currently on meds for PTSD.

Yesterday afternoon, I finally passed out on the chaise in the middle parlor, which was only hot, and slept for an hour and a half, comforted by the desperate whir of the sadly ineffectual Dr. Muñoz. We all remember how "Cool Air" ends, right? (A hint: it's "triggery.")


( 23 comments — Have your say! )
Jul. 12th, 2011 06:34 pm (UTC)
"We all remember how 'Cool Air' ends, right?"

I sure do. He has a triggering event, and dies.
Jul. 12th, 2011 06:41 pm (UTC)
A trick I learned online for the un-air-conditioned among us. Make an Ice-Baby. Take a 2-liter bottle fill it with water, freeze; then when you go to bed, wrap it in a towel and then a pillowcase and hug it to you.

Tried it last night and it worked surprisingly well. Temperature was 105˚ with a heat index of 112˚ during the day, it was still 97˚ at 2:30 a.m. If I had taken something for my damned arthritic ankle I think i'd have slept comfortably all night.

Just a suggestion to help beat the heat!

and I don't read your LJ everyday but I do manage to check up on it at least twice a week.
Jul. 12th, 2011 06:49 pm (UTC)
In ye kudzu mines, we used to fill a bucket with ice and water and point the fan over it (way too proletarian to have air conditioning in my mom's house in Irondale until hmmmm, 2009). I can't fathom RI being that hot. And they say the change isn't real.

I don't find media/literature a usual impetus for PTSD any more. I can't say when that changed; what I have been experiencing, lately, are flashbacks touched off by my own writing. This is a little like shooting oneself in the head while cleaning one's rifle. *sigh*
Jul. 12th, 2011 07:32 pm (UTC)

Irondale? I'm assuming that's not the Irondale near Birmingham, Alabama...
Jul. 12th, 2011 07:36 pm (UTC)
Oh, yes, totally is. We have some of the same old haunts, albeit I guess many years apart. Before we lived in the postwar ticky-tacky house in Irondale, we lived in these really dreadful, slightly seedy, probably-in-contemporary-pornos apartments directly behind and below Vulcan, so there was lots of climbing up the service road to Vulcan park.
Jul. 12th, 2011 06:50 pm (UTC)
"Triggery", huh? Don't think I've ever heard the term coined that way.
Jul. 12th, 2011 06:59 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure when taking person responsibility became a bad thing, but it has. Hand-holding is apparently the wave of the future. Oh joy of joys.

Actually, thinking about that, I can't remember a point in my lifetime when it wasn't that way. I often forget how young I actually am, since I *feel* older...

Internet cafes, if they still exist, may be an acceptable way to update. Also, many public libraries have computers you can use. For free.

Have fun at Readercon.
Jul. 12th, 2011 06:59 pm (UTC)
LJ will let you back date entries. Make the post (you can set it to private) then edit the post, it will allow you to set the date, make your post public and it'll shuffle off to where it should be in your timeline.
Jul. 12th, 2011 07:31 pm (UTC)

Thanks. I was unaware of this. Though, for some reason, I'm still not sure it solves my problem.
Jul. 13th, 2011 06:39 am (UTC)
It probably doesn't if you want us to see them in our friends feeds. Backdated entries appear in the list as being posted when you date it.

Do either of your phones allow text or the lj app? Or you could set up the lj voice post option, read the post and one of us will type it out.
Jul. 12th, 2011 07:05 pm (UTC)
It is possible to backdate entries - when you open the page for writing a new entry, click the "edit" next to the date. It will then let you modify the date/year/time. It also pops a check box that says "Date out of order." These won't appear at the top of someone's friends page because the date value will be for a day already past, so one would have to click over to the journal to read them.

The heat is especially grueling this year. We've had something like thirty days of 100+ degree days already this year and it looks like we will easily beat the records of 69 for one year.
Jul. 12th, 2011 07:16 pm (UTC)
This is not a melodramatic affectation.

I had two simultaneous responses to this.

(A) What's wrong with melodramatic affectations? (See icon.)

(B) Isn't that an REM b-side?

snarl growl "triggery" arrgh growl

I sympathize. Seems to be two kinds of people (yeah, yeah, 'those who say there's two kinds of people and those who don't'): those who find harsh and difficult art (for want of a better term; it's hot) cathartic and therapeutic, and those who are easily, well, triggered. I do feel for people who can't appreciate certain films/books/whatever on the same level I do because of their particular wiring/experience, but I cannot say I have ever been or felt 'triggered' by something, and if so -- if we're talking an honest emotional response that one does not immediately experience as 'happy' -- I've been grateful for it. Such people, when they use words like 'trigger' and its variants, make themselves sound like poorly manufactured .38 specials that will go off at any hint of whatever it is that, well, pulls their trigger. In brief, it puts a low ceiling on what you can recommend to or watch alongside such people, and that's a drag.
Jul. 12th, 2011 07:36 pm (UTC)
I don't see the problem with warning people that what I'm writing about could contain rape or abuse or suicidal imagery, on places like LJ, for example, where it's not what I'm there for.

But I think it's stupid to suggest it for books or movies, even if I had to walk out of an Orlando Bloom movie because I didn't realize the first fifteen minutes included watching him attempt suicide. I am still mad about puking up my candy, however.

Jul. 12th, 2011 08:11 pm (UTC)
Seemingly endless requests for trigger cuts and trigger warnings almost caused me to shut down my LJ. I cross reference my book discussions in my LJ and am pretty clear in labeling my content. I feel like stating the title of a book, like Diary of a Rapist by Evan Connell, should have been a clue that the book discussion was about a rapist. Nope. Evidently, unless I put :RAPE TRIGGER OMG DO NOT CLICK: no one could possibly know that if they had a problem with rape content, they should not click the link. Yep, without the word "trigger" there was no way for anyone to know that a book about a rapist could possibly be problematic if they have triggers for rape.

I give a lot of leeway to the concept of triggers. I understand them pretty well. But triggers have been trivialized by people who, like in the example above, need constant validation for their suffering and refuse to accept responsibility for themselves. Honestly, if I make it clear I am discussing Peter Sotos, and I explain who Peter Sotos is, and people click that link and are triggered, I do not want to hear about it. "But... but... you didn't actually use the word. You didn't say 'trigger.' My reaction is all your fault!"

This infantilization of a very real phenomenon is nauseating to me.

I cracked the day when a woman on my f-list complained that my eulogy for my beloved cat triggered her and could I please include a trigger warning and put it under a cut. I will not give trigger warnings any more - my titles are clear enough for anyone with any sense because after a while, I became aware that there will never be enough warning for many people. If a eulogy of a cat is triggering and the words "Cat" and "Eulogy" are triggers, there is no way to convey the information about my dead cat without just typing the word "trigger" over and over in lieu of any real content.
Jul. 12th, 2011 08:32 pm (UTC)
When I lived in Boston without a/c, I used to spend the hot days at the main public library. It was already one of my favorite places in the city and no one ever ran me off! I just grabbed a book and read all day (this was before libraries actually had internet).
Jul. 12th, 2011 09:26 pm (UTC)
Truthfully I didn't even know what the word "triggery" meant when you mentioned it, but I worked it out from the context. It seems like a load of over-reactive crap to me - if I see a link, or a book, or a film, it's MY choice to click it or read it or watch it, and if it disturbs me, so what? People should just grow up and take responsibility for themselves, as you so rightly said. The world can be bland enough without this sanitization. And I'll apologise now for not being considerate with my take on the 90's - it was late and the brain was not fully in gear, so I tend to go on a waffle-streak. I hope your payments come through quickly - the artist seems to be the last thing some publishers thing of, when they should be the first. Somebody should hit them with a big stick and repeatedly tell them that with no "product" there will be no "income".
Jul. 13th, 2011 12:19 am (UTC)
Acid reflux absolutely sucks. I have issues with it that just drive me nuts. I hope yours will be temporary.
Jul. 13th, 2011 12:21 am (UTC)
Thanks for another movie tip
What would an Aunt Beast movie review site be called? The heat is screambling... I meant scrambling but I like screambling better... my brains from thinking up a title.

Hey. we're still out here reading. You make me laugh, nod my head or seek out things I might miss. You reveal the complex mind of a writer to me, and that's a brilliant gift. Thanks for being there.

Did I just sound like a stalker? *gulp*
Jul. 13th, 2011 12:50 am (UTC)
I hadn't heard of this ridiculous idea of "triggery" before - had to look it up.

What bollocks! It's MY responsibility to be aware of things that may bother me - the rest of the world doesn't answer to me simply because I have past.

When did people stop feeling accountable for themselves?
Jul. 13th, 2011 03:20 am (UTC)
I first saw these trigger warnings when Coilhouse began to use them all the time, as you've previously mentioned, and I think they're pretty damned redundant. I mean, really, you're on the fucking internet people. You're always one click away from porn, snuff, and/or Nigerian royalty. If you haven't figured that out yet, maybe it is time you learned.
Jul. 13th, 2011 04:15 am (UTC)
Reluctant to borrow a phrase from a Nazi, but 'when I hear the word "triggery", I reach for my Browning".
Jul. 13th, 2011 06:04 am (UTC)
Hmm. While I agree that people should take responsibility for themselves, and that it sounds pretty ridiculous for people to have to post warnings for freakin' EVERYTHING, I have definitely been in a situation where it would have been incredibly helpful to be warned about potentially "triggery" things.

Namely, when my mother hanged herself several years ago, I frequently found myself watching films with unexpected scenes of someone being hanged or committing suicide. This was something I was working very hard NOT to picture or think about, and as a result, I basically stopped watching new visual media for about a year--and because my primary social outlet was a film night, this turned me into a hermit, which also really wasn't great for me at the time.

I did actually search online to see if there was an online database of non-friendly-to-suicide-survivor films, but there was none.

I really didn't expect any handholding through this problem, and the only time I was genuinely annoyed was when people who knew my recent history recommended movies/shows to me that ended up containing said "triggery" material...but on the other hand, I wouldn't have complained one bit if the media had contained a disclaimer!
Jul. 13th, 2011 04:07 pm (UTC)
malcom renolds

the guy wanted by the evil tv empire for organic crime.
a walk on part in a for alien volume 2
( 23 comments — Have your say! )