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Spooky just read me a review of Ellen Datlow's Supernatural Noir, which includes my story, "The Maltese Unicorn." Actually, no. She didn't read me a review, or even a "review." It was just some dipshit's blog entry. He took issue with the fact that Gregory Frost's "The Dingus" and my story both use the word dingus in different ways, and this confused the blogger. Because, you know, he doesn't own a dictionary or know how to use Google (never mind an obvious unfamiliarity with the works of Daishell Hammett). Honestly, how much longer do I have to endure unabashed human stupidity? It's as if people are PROUD to be morons. Anyway, I just timed myself. I needed only five seconds, using Google, to learn that dingus is:

Used to refer to something whose name the speaker cannot remember, is unsure of, or is humorously or euphemistically omitting - here's a doohickey—and there's the dingus. – and – Dingus –noun, plural -us·es. Informal: a gadget, device, or object whose name is unknown or forgotten.

Five measly seconds! The internet! Use it, motherfuckers! Maybe Google has become like libraries; cool people don't use it.

Meanwhile, in the Great State of Alabama, where so much of my life was squandered, I have the story of Republican state Senator Scott "Top of His Class" Beason, who is unsure why he called blacks "aborigines." Yes, you read that correctly. A brief quote from the article:

In one transcript, Beason and two other Republican legislators were talking about economic development in predominantly black Greene County and the customers at one of the county's largest employers, the Greenetrack casino in Eutaw.

"That's y'all's Indians," one Republican said.

"They're aborigines, but they're not Indians," Beason replied.


As kids these days are wont to say, o.0. Actually, the comment "That's y'all's Indians" might be the worst of it.

---

Kittens, there's no such thing as salvation. But if there were, it would be anger.

---

Anyway, yesterday I wrote something, but I can't yet tell you what I wrote, because it's related directly to that NEWS THAT IS SO GOOD, SO COOL, but that I can't yet announce. I emailed the first half of Blood Oranges to my agent. And then I spent a couple more hours editing the ms. of Confessions of a Five-Chambered Heart. And that was work yesterday.

Oh, and, as it happens, my contributor's copies of Ellen Datlow's Supernatural Noir arrived, and this is an awesome book, which you must own. The beady eyes of the platypus, they compel you! Also, all modesty aside, "The Maltese Unicorn" is one of the best short stories I've written in years. Dingus!!!!!

---


Late last night, we watched a movie. Now, here's the problem with Hal Hartley. On the one hand, he can make a brilliant film like No Such Thing (2001), and on the other hand he makes turds like The Girl from Monday (2005) and (the film we saw last night) The Book of Life (1998). Imagine a film devoid of acting, a script, art direction, cinematography, direction, sets, all production values...well, most that stuff you find in movies. Instead, it's just a garbled story about Jesus deciding the end of the world is a really bad idea, and you have The Book of Life. Now, the good news is threefold: 1) Polly Jean Harvey plays Mary Magdalene, and she at last tries to act in one scene, and is cool to look at the rest of the time; 2) William S. Burroughs adds a voice-over as a hellfire-and-brimstone radio preacher; and 3) the film is, mercifully, only 63 minutes long. Honestly, kittens. Not worth your time or the cost of a rental. Watch Henry Fool or No Such Thing again if you need a Hartley fix.

Fuck. I have to work today. Throw comments at me. Maybe something will stick.

Angrified,
Aunt Beast

Comments

( 41 comments — Have your say! )
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seph_ski
Jun. 22nd, 2011 05:46 pm (UTC)
I love the word "dingus"
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/upload/2011/06/what_mother_nature_thinks_of_u/sweetnature.jpeg

Saw that earlier and thought you might enjoy the punchline. It's one of those funny because it's true things.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 22nd, 2011 05:48 pm (UTC)
Re: I love the word "dingus"

Other than the fact that the lettering is microscopic, YES!
mastadge
Jun. 22nd, 2011 05:47 pm (UTC)
That happens all the time. People will log onto a message board to write a question to which they could find the answer in less time than it took to ask the question on google (or imdb or other pertinent site). I've never quite understood that.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 22nd, 2011 05:48 pm (UTC)

I've never quite understood that.

Unspeakable laziness.
(Deleted comment)
greygirlbeast
Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:01 pm (UTC)

There's a mentality, surging of late, which seems to demand being spoonfed the ideological equivalent of thin, bland porridge.

I fear this is nothing new.
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - greygirlbeast - Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
nihilistic_kid
Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:00 pm (UTC)
I hope my copies of Supernatural Noir are around when I go home today. I've been waiting for months to read the other stories properly!
greygirlbeast
Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:02 pm (UTC)

I am impatient to finish work today, and read!
sovay
Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:00 pm (UTC)
Oh! This is one of my grumpy days!

I don't know if I'm supposed to hear that in Little Nemo's voice, but I totally do.

That's y'all's Indians," one Republican said.

*head*desk*

Have a murder ballad of Edgar Allan Poe: Sarah Jarosz, "Annabelle Lee."
greygirlbeast
Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:03 pm (UTC)

I don't know if I'm supposed to hear that in Little Nemo's voice, but I totally do.

Works for me.

*head*desk*

Made me want to eviscerate the motherfucker with a spork.

Have a murder ballad of Edgar Allan Poe: Sarah Jarosz, "Annabelle Lee."

Shiny!
(no subject) - cucumberseed - Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - greygirlbeast - Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
vrykolakes
Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:02 pm (UTC)
There are those who don't know and those who don't want to know. One hopes never to be stuck with the dilemma of having to choose between hanging with one or the other types, though it's often unavoidable. Of the two I'd choose the merely ignorant over the proudly ignorant any day.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:09 pm (UTC)

Of the two I'd choose the merely ignorant over the proudly ignorant any day.

At least the merely ignorant can be taught.
kylecassidy
Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:06 pm (UTC)
there's a terrific sequel to henry fool called faye grimm
greygirlbeast
Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:09 pm (UTC)

Yerp.
(no subject) - stsisyphus - Jun. 22nd, 2011 09:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lady_theadora - Jun. 23rd, 2011 02:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
amethyst_clan
Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:15 pm (UTC)
There was a guy running for city council here a couple years ago named Dingus. I think that's one of the best last names ever. Alas, he lost to a Republican.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 22nd, 2011 07:56 pm (UTC)

It's an Irish name. Along with Dingle.

Edited at 2011-06-22 07:57 pm (UTC)
ashlyme
Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:27 pm (UTC)
Polly Jean *and* Burroughs? Aw man. You make me want to watch it, anyway - but I'll trust your taste.

Beason is an utter cunt. I couldn't believe this at first. After you've eviscerated the Republican, forcefeed him his own intestines.

I need to read more Hammett; I've got the Continental Op stuff somewhere. Can't recall if I've read The Maltese Falcon. (Now I feel like a blasphemer, admitting that.)
greygirlbeast
Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:53 pm (UTC)

Polly Jean *and* Burroughs? Aw man. You make me want to watch it, anyway - but I'll trust your taste.

It's just not worth it.

After you've eviscerated the Republican, forcefeed him his own intestines.

Yes. This is wise.

I need to read more Hammett;

As does everyone.
merlin513
Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:28 pm (UTC)
maybe it's a southern thing...everybody around here KNOWS that the dingus goes with the doohickey and that thar thingy makes it all go! otherwise....moron! get a life other than complaining about people that actually DO something...sheesh...
greygirlbeast
Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:54 pm (UTC)

get a life other than complaining about people that actually DO something

There is, online, and entire subculture of people who do nothing, and criticize those who do.
cucumberseed
Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:32 pm (UTC)
P J Harvey and Burroughs in the same film. Okay, not a mark of quality cinema, but might be worth seeing if netflix has it streaming.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 22nd, 2011 06:55 pm (UTC)

P J Harvey and Burroughs in the same film. Okay, not a mark of quality cinema, but might be worth seeing if netflix has it streaming.

It's not. We paid actual money. At least we paid it to a cute and dorky girl.
jdack
Jun. 22nd, 2011 07:06 pm (UTC)
The seductive nature of ignorance. "Wee I can use my hate-filled heart and be an asshole, my defense will be I don't know any better!"

When I'm ready to nuke the site from orbit, lately I go to youtube and watch My Drunk Kitchen. If you haven't seen it, it's wonderful.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 22nd, 2011 07:41 pm (UTC)

"Wee I can use my hate-filled heart and be an asshole, my defense will be I don't know any better!"

Personally, I think the defense is often more like, "Fuck those snotty liberal intellectuals. I'm on the side of the angels, and my path leads to Heaven."

When I'm ready to nuke the site from orbit, lately I go to youtube and watch My Drunk Kitchen. If you haven't seen it, it's wonderful.

I've not, but I shall.
(no subject) - jdack - Jun. 22nd, 2011 08:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
captaincurt81
Jun. 22nd, 2011 07:23 pm (UTC)
dingus
It's the unfettered sloths who roam the countryside and the 'net who truly are the great unwashed. People come into the bookshop and ask me if a title is in e-book format. I want to say "How the hell should I know you're the one with the Nook/Kindle/Sony reader, not me. Look it up!" Sloths.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 22nd, 2011 07:43 pm (UTC)
Re: dingus

Now, now. Sloths are kindly beasts and undeserving of this of standing in for humans.
Re: dingus - captaincurt81 - Jun. 22nd, 2011 08:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: dingus - greygirlbeast - Jun. 22nd, 2011 08:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
oldfossil59
Jun. 22nd, 2011 07:48 pm (UTC)
Supernatural Noir
Our copies are scheduled to come in next Wednesday. I can't wait.

Last Night- Did you and Kathryn get a chance to visit the shore?
greygirlbeast
Jun. 22nd, 2011 07:56 pm (UTC)
Re: Supernatural Noir

Did you and Kathryn get a chance to visit the shore?

We did, early.
oldfossil59
Jun. 22nd, 2011 08:01 pm (UTC)
We did, early.
Very Good! I hope it was a nice little getaway
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( 41 comments — Have your say! )