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Falling Down

Utter chaos and panic today. Three looming deadlines. Fear I'll break the novel. Fear of word limits. Fear I won't have the collection edited in time. Fear of other looming deadlines, editors, agents, readers. Insomnia. Exhaustion. Fear. Panic. Rage. Money fear. Isolation.

If anyone wants this shitty job, I'm selling cheap.

But still, I have been silent.


( 15 comments — Have your say! )
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 5th, 2011 11:41 pm (UTC)
You have the skill and the experience to complete your novel without breaking it.
Mar. 6th, 2011 12:27 am (UTC)
If it helps at all, I was terribly impressed with the chapter of The Drowning Girl you put in Sirenia #63.
Mar. 6th, 2011 12:37 am (UTC)
You definitely have the support of your devoted fans. We would do whatever you need us to do. I for one have been a fan since, what is it, 1997, and I'm het like that matters or something. Your writing style is why I'm still reading your work.

It's difficult to be a writer. You'll finish the collection edit, and Bill at Sub Press will be pleased just as we fans will. The novel is almost done and it will be cherished by us and bashed by the haters.

Oh and your silence is most appreciated. Your blog/journal is one I seek out daily. There are few writers that take as much time for their fans.

The Drowning Girl chapter was wonderful. Too bad there are never HC releases of the Roc novels.

Mar. 6th, 2011 01:09 am (UTC)
Hey Auntie. All I can really is that I'm an inkstained wretch right there with you. When it subsides, we'll celebrate with hookahs or something. Hookahs in special outfits that make them look like Thom and Tilda. Or at least food from a place that has hookahs...
Mar. 6th, 2011 06:18 am (UTC)
You will NOT fucking break the novel. You won't. Aunt Beast does not break novels.

Do not fear your readers. Come on, throw yourself into our mosh pit. We will not let you down. Jump. We have you.
Mar. 6th, 2011 09:37 am (UTC)
You're bound to your destiny by unbreakable causal chains that were forged in the universe's first instant. It's out of your hands, and always has been.

The future has already happened...you're just waiting around to see how it turned out.

Fatalism. Very relaxing. Highly recommended.
Mar. 6th, 2011 10:01 am (UTC)
*comforting shoulder squeezes*
I felt this through the screen.
Been feeling much the same, for completely different reasons.
For what it's worth, another person caring about you right now.
Mar. 6th, 2011 01:46 pm (UTC)
You're gonna like this
The most intensely peer-reviewed paper "in the history of science" was released this weekend. Turns out we're not alone!
Mar. 6th, 2011 02:04 pm (UTC)
I wondered if I'd live to actually see this day, as the new Journal of Cosmology published this over the weekend by a NASA scientists (and already reviewed by 100-plus peers. From the summary:

"Dr. Hoover has discovered evidence of microfossils similar to Cyanobacteria, in freshly fractured slices of the interior surfaces of the Alais, Ivuna, and Orgueil CI1 carbonaceous meteorites. Based on Field Emission Scanning Electron Microscopy (FESEM) and other measures, Dr. Hoover has concluded they are indigenous to these meteors and are similar to trichomic cyanobacteria and other trichomic prokaryotes such as filamentous sulfur bacteria. He concludes these fossilized bacteria are not Earthly contaminants but are the fossilized remains of living organisms which lived in the parent bodies of these meteors, e.g. comets, moons, and other astral bodies. The implications are that life is everywhere, and that life on Earth may have come from other planets."

Mar. 6th, 2011 05:47 pm (UTC)
Hate to throw cold water on this, but this isn't likely to pan out - the journal's a known crackpot refuge, and I'd be extremely suspicious of anything published there. If this really were correct, it'd be on the cover of Nature or Science, not here.

For a more thorough discussion of the manuscript: http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2011/03/did_scientists_discover_bacter.php
Mar. 6th, 2011 02:54 pm (UTC)
I hope you're feeling better today, and if not yet then soon. I had a professional meltdown this week too. Someone once told me it's good to rage a little when it bubbles up, that it's a good way to stay in touch with the core of who you are without losing yourself under a build-up of resentment and bitterness, that you might still feel resentful and bitter when all the rage passes, but at least you'll always remember why specific things upset you.

If such a thing can really be done, I'm pushing waves of calm, direction, determination, support, and success your way. I think you're fucking brilliant.

Edited at 2011-03-06 02:55 pm (UTC)
Mar. 6th, 2011 05:39 pm (UTC)
I'll chime in too - I'm in complete agreement with everyone upthread. After all the mental gymnastics you've gone through with this novel, I'm confident in your ability to nail the dismount too, especially after reading the previews in Sirenia the last two months.
Mar. 6th, 2011 08:45 pm (UTC)
Hmmm, looks like I should have looked a bit more closely before getting excited (a friend forwarded it to me at oh-god-hundred BC, meaning "before coffee"). I do LOVE the "extraterrestrial rabbit in a meteor" comment from the article debunking it -- that was great!
( 15 comments — Have your say! )