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Today I'm not speaking. I may not be speaking tomorrow either. I last did this several years ago (2006?), and found it unexpectedly comforting*. And just now I need comfort. Also, it helps my cough. I've not said anything for the last eight hours. Oh, and no, I'm not observing Nyepi, Balinese "Day of Silence." But it is an interesting coincidence. I didn't know today was Nyepi until someone asked if that's why I wasn't speaking (even though I'm neither Balinese nor Hindu).

Yesterday, after the blog entry, I got everything together for Sirenia Digest #63, proofed it all again, and sent the text and images away to thingunderthest to be made into a PDF. It went out last night. Subscribers should have their copies by now.

And, by the way, I'd really love to hear some feedback on #63.

After everything for the digest was done, I got back to the final chapter of The Drowning Girl: A Memoir, and I wrote 1,404 words. And began to think I was being overly optimistic in yesterday's entry. I may not finish until Tuesday or Wednesday. I think I might have found a missing scene. After the writing, Spooky and I proofed all of "Les Fleurs Empoisonnées" (51 pages, 11,904 words). When I wrote the story in 2001, that was the original title. When subpress published it as a small hardback, the title was changed to In the Garden of Poisonous Flowers. When it was reprinted in Alabaster (the Dancy collection) in 2006, I reverted back to the French title. I've been pondering a new French title for its appearance in Two Worlds and In Between, a more literal translation of In the Garden of Poisonous Flowers, which I think would be Dans le Jardin des Fleurs Toxiques. Anyway, Spooky read aloud, I coughed and made red marks on the manuscript pages. I was pleased that I still enjoy the story quite a lot.

A busy day yesterday.

By the way, just saw Lee Moyer's almost finished cover for Two Worlds and In Between, and gods it's gorgeous.

---

I think I've given up on the whole Loremaster thing. Too many quests in Nagrand and Shadowmoon are broken, and Blizzard seems to have no interest in fixing them. It's a shame to give up with only two regions left, but I haven't the time or patience to waste any more energy and "free time" on this. So, likely this spells the end of me and WoW. I'd considered keeping my account open, but I'm so disgusted over the Nagrand thing (spent a lot of time reading various message boards yesterday; I'm not alone), after three years and five months, I believe I've had enough.

On Rift, Selwyn made Level 18. I trained for a second role, which means I got a second soul set. Selwyn's primary is warlock/necromancy/pyromancy; her secondary is necromancy/dominator/chloromancy. But I'll likely play the first skill set most of the time. I was in a sour mood last night, and the very few stupid names were really getting on my nerves. I can't fathom the need for some people to be jackasses, just because, you know, they can be jackasses. Or maybe they're not jackasses at all. Maybe they think Notdeadyet and Dingleberry really are a names. Maybe they don't understand Chinagirl can't be a name in a world without a fucking nation named China. Yeah, maybe it's only stupidity.

We may be forming a guild on the Shadefallen shard.

---

We're about three chapters into Suzanne Collins' Catching Fire, and, so far, I'm both disappointed and bored. None of the first novel's energy is here. I'm hoping it picks up quickly. Also, as I read more YA, I fear I begin to see certain patterns, most of them relating to the unfortunate necessity for romance, and that almost always means heterosexual romance. These days, I can't do het romance (or, rather, I can't do it well), and I won't hamstring myself by trying. And it would be cynical and hypocritical of me to try. I find myself struggling to devise ways to "sneak" queer relationships into stories (and I don't mean the Willow/Tara background stuff; that's plenty acceptable to the mainstream). My protagonists will be queer teens. Period. Editors, trends, squeamish readers, religion, and homophobes go hang. There are other things, too, but I don't feel like getting into that just now.

Anyway...I'm off now to write and not speak.

* Indeed, I find my voice so disagreeable, I often consider giving up speaking for good.

Comments

( 20 comments — Have your say! )
(Deleted comment)
greygirlbeast
Mar. 5th, 2011 05:42 pm (UTC)

I'll be there to read it because I'm sick of het-love.

Apparently, it's all the rage. Who knew?
mellawyrden
Mar. 5th, 2011 05:48 pm (UTC)
I'm thrilled to the point of hyperventillation that your protagonists will be queer teens, with no apologies. Good luck on your vocal rest. It really does help when one has a throat ailment. Actors in our department walk around with little notepads or etch-a-sketches (or magna-doodles? the one with the little "pen") to communicate when they want a rest. Especially don't whisper.
greygirlbeast
Mar. 5th, 2011 05:49 pm (UTC)

Actors in our department walk around with little notepads or etch-a-sketches (or magna-doodles? the one with the little "pen") to communicate when they want a rest.

Yep. I'm relying on pen and paper.
sovay
Mar. 5th, 2011 06:10 pm (UTC)
And, by the way, I'd really love to hear some feedback on #63.

Well, as previously stated: my God, that illustration.

The Question@Hand should definitely become a semi-regular feature.
greygirlbeast
Mar. 5th, 2011 06:12 pm (UTC)

Well, as previously stated: my God, that illustration.

It's more a sort of metaphor, than anything.

The Question@Hand should definitely become a semi-regular feature.

If I can only continue devising suitable questions...
sovay
Mar. 6th, 2011 05:59 pm (UTC)
It's more a sort of metaphor, than anything.

It's very beautiful. I'm sorry you can't use it as a frontispiece for The Drowning Girl—maybe a limited edition, in the same way Subterranean did that run of Low Red Moon?
(Deleted comment)
greygirlbeast
Mar. 5th, 2011 06:27 pm (UTC)
Re: Sirenia #63

I enjoyed Chapter 2 of 'The Drowning Girl: A Memoir', particularly the conversational dance of Imp and Abalyn cautiously getting to know one another. Imp is going to be a favorite.

She is now one of my three favorites (if we're talking novels), along with Narcissa Snow and Emmie Silvey.

I'd love your comments on how the Question@Hand entries affected you (not any particular one, of course). There seemed to be much there that would amuse you and Spooky?

Mostly, I just found them delightful.

Everyone did seem to take care to ensure you could keep writing...

Though an alarming number required my death.
ashlyme
Mar. 5th, 2011 06:59 pm (UTC)
I hope the silence brings you comfort. That's an attractive idea, the mute day. I'd cheerfully stop speaking to other people for a couple of days. But I'd probably talk to myself more. I could just about tolerate my voice, that way.

If it's any interest to you, my favourite characters of yours are Sarah, Deacon, Dancy, Salmagundi, and Emmie.

I couldn't really imagine you concentrating on straight teens; if anything, I thought you might have more queer characters.
greygirlbeast
Mar. 5th, 2011 08:29 pm (UTC)

I couldn't really imagine you concentrating on straight teens; if anything, I thought you might have more queer characters.

I am advised by my agent this will make the books harder to sell.
tziedel
Mar. 5th, 2011 08:39 pm (UTC)
Oh dear, the link for Two Worlds and In Between goes to SubT's Tales of Dark Fantasy 2.
greygirlbeast
Mar. 5th, 2011 09:32 pm (UTC)
Oh dear, the link for Two Worlds and In Between goes to SubT's Tales of Dark Fantasy 2.

Fuck. I'll fix it now.

Btw, the cover isn't yet finished and isn't at the subpress website.

Edited at 2011-03-05 09:40 pm (UTC)
ex_kaz_maho
Mar. 5th, 2011 08:47 pm (UTC)
There is a small (very small) movement in YA books where queer relationships are becoming more accepted. Of course there is still a long, long way to go, and your agent is absolutely right to note that anything other than straight teens - especially when they are the main characters - are a tougher sell.

But I could recommend some great books, and some forthcoming YA titles (the forthcoming ones I haven't read yet), if you want to see some of what's out there. Let me know and I'll send you a list. Two of my current favourites:

ASH by Malinda Lo (lesbian YA retelling of Cinderella)
ALMOST PERFECT by Brian Katcher (trans contemporary YA)
greygirlbeast
Mar. 5th, 2011 09:34 pm (UTC)

There is a small (very small) movement in YA books where queer relationships are becoming more accepted. Of course there is still a long, long way to go, and your agent is absolutely right to note that anything other than straight teens - especially when they are the main characters - are a tougher sell.

Which leaves me rather screwed, as one of the main reasons I'm making the switch is in hopes of better advances, larger readership, etc.

But I could recommend some great books, and some forthcoming YA titles (the forthcoming ones I haven't read yet), if you want to see some of what's out there. Let me know and I'll send you a list.

Thanks, but too much to read already.
trvolk
Mar. 5th, 2011 11:27 pm (UTC)
After reading this second chapter, I feel much the way I did last month. I want to hear Imp's story, and hear it in her words. I very much liked the phrase, "So, it rained, and we talked..." and its position in the story. It instills the feeling of home and reinforces the informality of Imp's voice. Also as I said last month, you can count on my pre-order. That has not changed.
greygirlbeast
Mar. 5th, 2011 11:30 pm (UTC)

After reading this second chapter, I feel much the way I did last month. I want to hear Imp's story, and hear it in her words.

Hopefully, next spring.

Also as I said last month, you can count on my pre-order. That has not changed.

Thank you.
uulemnts
Mar. 6th, 2011 05:17 am (UTC)
Queer Teen Fiction
There is a growing number of books in teen with GLBT content. Not so much in the Fantasy category, but that's were your voice would fill the void. The Teen category needs your voice.
spank_an_elf
Mar. 6th, 2011 06:11 am (UTC)
Tiny Satchel Press
Victoria Brownworth's new Tiny Satchel publishing house is focusing on queer YA novels. She's quite a force of nature; I hope she makes it work.
mrs_ralph
Mar. 6th, 2011 11:38 am (UTC)
Actually I think the market is changing. I was on Good Reads the other day going through the ARC giveaways and saw my first mainstream romance with two male lead characters. It had the usual Mills and Boon/Harlequin lead-in text but instead of it being about a boy and a girl it was about two boys. I found it amusing that they used the exact same description they have used for the last 30 years on boy/girl romance novels and just changed the names and a few pronouns. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10612345-the-only-gold

I can't imagine that is the only novel of that style out there so there must be a market for them.

ulffriend
Mar. 7th, 2011 12:49 am (UTC)
One woman's opinion: I feel that "Les Fleurs Empoisonnées" really suits the mood of the story the best. I speak no French, so the literal translation may appeal more to someone who does, but the sound that it makes coming off the tongue...I couldn't really explain why it sounds so right, but it does, at least to me.

Regarding gay YA characters, I certainly hope that there are more of them, and if you can help open that door with quality writing so much the better. I'm not gay, but we were foster parents for adolescent boys for many years, and saw more than a few struggling with themselves, feeling that something was wrong with them or that those who loved them wouldn't love them any longer if they were true to themselves. We tried to love all of them as unconditionally as possible and to make sure that they knew that they had a place to come back to where they were loved regardless of what happened elsewhere.

I say all that because I feel strongly that our entertainment sources - TV, film, books, whatever - serve as a mirror for what society is. It can help people see that they belong, help people understand where others fit. And stories that help GLTBQ kids feel...really, feel anything that they need to feel, those can only be good things.

On a happy (if rather random) note, apparently the Central Rappahannock Regional Library in Virginia has a whole search page specifically for GLTBQ YA literature, both fiction and non-fiction. I see that one of the listings, "Ash" is a retelling of the Cinderella story in which Cinderella has to chose between the prince and the king's huntress...
jdack
Mar. 7th, 2011 07:12 pm (UTC)
I used to wish I would be struck mute so I would have a valid reason never to speak to anyone. Especially on the phone.

I really hate when I'm in my office for four hours without a call or a visit and then someone shows up at my door and I try to say something, but having not spoken for so long it comes out sounding like I'm the creature from the Black Lagoon.
( 20 comments — Have your say! )

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