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Exit, Stage Left

I'm posting this now so I want have to think about it tomorrow. I'm about half asleep, so I doubt I'll be terribly articulate.

About half an hour ago now, I packed up the Alpha Institute library and laboratory in Nor, which is the last thing I expect I ever will do in Second Life. I'd had desperate, stupid hopes that the AI would, somehow, be the One That Worked, even though all my previous attempts at establishing immersive, "simulationist" rp in SL had run afoul of ooc drama, players who could not distinguish SL from RL, or ooc from ic, people who said they wanted to play but really wanted to make "friends" (friend surrogates, I call them), or who hate their real lives so much they try to live vicariously through SL, the damage done by all the many idiotic admins, my own time constraints, and so forth.

I will admit it made me sad, picking up the library. But now it's gone, and I am, I hope, done with SL forever. Maybe one day an SL-like service will exist that will be far more amenable to improvisational theatre and interactive storytelling, a service that will not be consumed by all the bullshit I've spent almost two years trying to best. There were some good times, but only a few, up against what must surely be many hundreds and hundreds of hours of stress and nonsense. The pluses never came close to outweighing the minuses. And no, you don't get from SL what you put in. You can only get from it what it has to offer, and the specific thing I want, it doesn't offer.

Obviously, the only genuine and lasting good that came from my twenty-three months on SL was a number of short stories that were directly inspired by SL rp: "The Steam Dancer (1896)," "In the Dreamtime of Lady Resurrection," "Scene in the Museum (1896)," "Flotsam," and "Regarding Attrition and Severance."

If I were not so bloody stubborn, I'd have left in February 2008, when the Dune sim imploded in a paroxysm of admin-related idiocy.

So, yeah. No SL since the 20th, and Spooky's pleased, and I'm beginning to feel like I'm getting a huge chunk of my life back.

Haven't even needed a support group.