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These storms subside.

I feel as though I slept all day long yesterday. In point of fact, I did not. I actually managed to write a very decent 1,300 words on The Red Tree, beginning Chapter Three, which I'm liking more than I liked Chapter Two. Mostly, I was left with the conviction that if I can force myself to write on a day like yesterday, I can force myself to write on almost any sort of day. As for today, so far I mostly feel disoriented.

Anyway, my reward for writing (and resting) yesterday was a 10:55 ayem matinée of Hellboy II: The Golden Army. I'm not going to say much, because I don't want to risk spoiling it for anyone. But I loved it. It manages to be beautiful, terrible, and fun, and keep a sense of humor the whole time. The creature designs are, of course, superb, as is Danny Elfman's score. I keep waiting to Guillermo del Toro to disappoint me, and I just don't think it's ever going to happen. I may have more to say, after thinking about it a bit. I will say that I suspect Princess Nuala is my new infatuation...

Back to yesterday, I finished reading "Marginal Creatures in a Marginal World," Chapter Six of Nicholas Fraser's Dawn of the Dinosaurs: Life in the Triassic. It covered many of my favourite enigmatic Triassic beasties —— including Drepanosaurus, Megalancosaurus, Longisquama, Sharovipteryx, and Langobardisaurus. I also started Chapter Seven, "The Enigmas of Texas and the U.S. Southwest," which deals primarily with the Chinle and Dockum faunas.

There was a trip to the market, and there were hot dogs for dinner. There were fresh strawberries in our weekly bag from the farmer's market. There was a little Second Life. But the prison sim in which Nareth is serving a fourteen-day sentence, while at first promising, is proving rather dull (and not in the ways a prison stay should, fairly, be dull). And I'm really, really getting tired of people who use emoticons and lolspeak during rp, and those who seem to have taught themselves to write dialogue by watching anime. After Second Life, there were some "soft, soft drugs." And more sleep. It's very, very rare when I'm asleep long before Spooky. Oh, that reminds me. acephalemagic sent me this quote from an E.M. Cioran interview, regarding insomnia. It comes very near to describing the state of mind I call "dreamsickness":

Weiss: Do you still suffer from it [insomnia]?

Cioran: A lot less. But that was a precise period, about six or seven years, when my whole perspective on the world changed. I think it's a very important problem. It happens like this: normally someone who goes to bed and sleeps all night almost begins a new life the next day. It's not simply another day, it's another life. And so, he can undertake things, he can manifest himself, he has a present, a future, and so on. But for someone who doesn't sleep, from the time of going to bed at night to waking up in the morning it's all continuous, there's no interruption. Which means there is no suppression of consciousness. It all revolves around that. So, instead of starting a new life, at eight in the morning you're like you were at eight the evening before. The nightmare continues uninterrupted in a way, and in the morning, start what? Since there's no difference from the night before. That new life doesn't exist. The whole day is a trial, it's the continuity of the trial. Well, while everyone rushes toward the future, you are on the outside. So, when that's stretched out for months and years, it causes your sense of things, your conception of life, to be forcibly changed. You do not see what future to look toward, because you don't have any future. And I really consider that the most terrible, most unsettling, in short, the principal experience of my life. There's also the fact that you are alone with yourself. In the middle of the night, everyone's asleep, you are the only one who is awake. Right away I'm not a part of humanity, I live in another world...


My thanks to everyone for the kind words yesterday. They were much appreciated.

Comments

( 8 comments — Have your say! )
jtglover
Jul. 11th, 2008 08:13 pm (UTC)
Glad to hear that yesterday wasn't a total loss, and that you're feeling less unwell today.

Some years ago I had a lengthy period of insomnia, during which I picked up the cleverly-titled Bedlam: an Anthology of Sleepless Nights. While it was a good idea in theory, in practice the works anthologized did nothing for me while suffering. The editor selected from many famous authors, and the quality of writing may have been high, but I have to say that they just didn't seem to capture the experience well. The one thing I remember reading that insomnia is best understood as a lack of state rather than a state itself, which has stuck with me. Still, poor solace on the nights when the birds started to sing and I knew that sleep would never come.
blu_muse
Jul. 11th, 2008 08:31 pm (UTC)
You kidnap the Princess, I'll take the Prince. I just got back from seeing Hellboy II and damn, all that white hair and scar and pointy knives and.... *swoons*

Glad you're feeling a bit better...

beautifulmithra
Jul. 11th, 2008 08:47 pm (UTC)
Shit! Sorry. I forgot to tell you that band's name. It's Ammamina.
If you have trouble finding their music let me know. I've got a 4 song sampler I can burn for you and send to your PO.
jmoyer
Jul. 11th, 2008 09:21 pm (UTC)
I found an interesting article about unearthed Aztec whistles on CNN -
http://tinyurl.com/5rum26
. There are sounds from some of the whistles that made me think of the way I felt during the end of Silk. I think you might find the sounds as fascinating and frightening as I did.

I shortened the URL because I am not sure how to make a link when commenting, regular html didn't seem to work.
kiaduran
Jul. 11th, 2008 10:48 pm (UTC)
There are sounds from some of the whistles that made me think of the way I felt during the end of Silk. I think you might find the sounds as fascinating and frightening as I did.

Those are some very unnerving sounds. It sounds like the noise the inside of my heart is making this week.

damn....
mellawyrden
Jul. 12th, 2008 02:27 am (UTC)
pardon my intrusion but, Thank You jmoyer for posting this article. This is the sound of death's fingerbones down a blackboard. I wonder if anyone is selling replicas of these whistles. I need actors to make this sound on stage.
jmoyer
Jul. 12th, 2008 01:54 am (UTC)
The first listen put me in mind of The Village. Later I remembered that, as a child of ten or so, we would often hear similar sounds in the deep woods that sat just a few hundred feet from my back step. It usually happened as we were playing and I don't even think we recognized it then. I guess we were too lost in our own world for anything to matter much.
sfmarty
Jul. 12th, 2008 03:30 am (UTC)
Just letting you know that the firecrackers and cherry bombs are still being set off a block from my house. Half an hour ago. (deep sigh)
( 8 comments — Have your say! )