I stand at the edge of a great bluff, and step off.
I'm quite certain I have made this analogy before. It's almost always apt. This morning, the precipice is the knowledge that I now have a month open to do nothing but work on Joey Lafaye, which I've fallen horridly behind on, even when I factor in the deadline extension my publisher gave me in December. I am afraid I am not writing a book that I was "meant" to write. I so despise teleological language. Of course, I have never been "meant" to write any book. So, I shall rephrase that. I am not sure I can write this book. It does not help that I have been sitting on it for more than two years. Way more, actually. And now I have a contract, and now it has to be written. But here I am at the precipice, stepping off. I have a prologue and a chapter, and it's all so very damned odd, this book. Caitlín R. Kiernan writes a novel-length fairy tale. I miss Soldier and Emmie, Deacon and Dancy, Niki and Daria. All those characters I comprehended, because they were only pieces of me. I have to find how it is that these characters, the new ones that must populate Joey Lafaye, can be only pieces of me, for there is nothing else they could be.
The real story here is a girl named Addison Lynch and her missing twin sister, and I have to not lose sight of that, even though half the novel is the carnival and the Barker and Joey and Sweet William and Ignatius and all the rest. I think maybe I know what the book is about. Maybe this time someone has to push me off the precipice. Too rarely do I use this journal to write about how hard writing is for me. Too often, I use it for a hundred other things.
Anyway, Spooky has made another doll, Cecil, who you may see here. I quite love Cecil, in his swimming trunks, and I named him, but if we kept every doll that Spooky made we'd have no room to keep all the blasted books I write.
I'm still relieved at the Publisher's Weekly review of Tales of Pain and Wonder, which you may read in yesterday's entry. Yesterday, I sent all the corrections off to subpress. It is out of my hands, more or less. I think the book is due out in March. There really isn't much to say about yesterday, as it was a day off. There was some decent rp in the Dune sim on Second Life, but the scene was a rather sorrowful affair. And I forgot to take photos. But here's the link to transcripts from the rp (not last night's scene, but the rp in general). I play Shahrazad al-Anwar Godeater, a Fremen Naib. I also post under that name on the forum. Some of it makes for good reading, especially if you are a fan of Herbert's work. Our story assumes that Paul died during his fight with Feyd-Rautha, that an atomic attack on Arrakis followed, and almost a century of civil war. Only now is the Empire beginning to allow various royal houses and factions to return to the planet. I could tell you a lot more, but it would spoil the plot. By the way, if you are on SL and would like to become a part of this Dune story, just IM me (Nareth Nishi), and/or we can talk about it here.
Oh, and "The Ape's Wife" was voted most popular short story of the year at Clarkesworld Magazine. That is, the most popular of those published in 2007 by Clarkesworld Magazine. You may see the poll results here.
Well, here's the coffee, and I should try to at least think about the word mines....