Yesterday was a sort of mandatory day off. I spent most of it in bed. We did our Imbolc thing late in the evening. Spooky had picked more Narcissus on Tuesday, and they all blossomed. Early last night, we watched Brian De Palma's The Black Dahlia. Previously, the only De Palma film I've ever actually liked was 1987's The Untouchables, and I can say today that's still very much the case. The Black Dahlia is a confusing mess of a film, and I have no idea what Scarlett Johansson was thinking.
I hope people found Sirenia Digest #14 to their liking. Feedback is, as always, welcome.
Alabaster has made the 2006 Locus Recommended Reading List, I am pleased to report.
The last few weeks, I dream about the white room and the albino amputee more nights than not. I've never had a "recurring" dream that came with such frequency and clarity. I am starting to detect minor variations, whereas I was almost sure, for a while, that the dream was identical every time I dreamt it. But it's not that things are different one time to the next. It's more like I notice things I may not have noticed before, or upon waking I recall things I did not previously recall. Were I capable of lucid dreaming, there are things I would look for. One thing that I have slowly become aware of is that, in the dream, I do not have use of my left arm. It seems shriveled and numb. So, maybe that's one thing the albino woman and I have in common. We are both cripples, though she more dramatically so. I still do not know why I'm looking for missing syringes or what the photo album means, exactly what I'm being asked to find. There is a question I ask sometimes — "What am I seeing?" or "What is it that you want me to see?" I see now those are actually two very different questions. There's talk of "the war in Taiwan," but I have no idea where or when that white room is supposed to be. The dream does not seem to be leading anywhere. It's more like a loop, or an echo that grows stronger instead of fading.
Watching them come and go,
Tomorrows and the yesterdays,
Christians and the unbelievers,
Hanging by the cross and nail.