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these bags beneath my eyes

This thing with the Ambien, I just don't know whether it's working out or not. Through an unparalleled act of self-control, I was in bed by 12:30 a.m. That hasn't happened in ages. I put on my Chi Chian t-shirt, Spooky read me Dr. Seuss' If I Ran the Zoo, I took my Ambien, and fell asleep watching The Thing on the iBook. I drifted near wakefullness once, just in time to hear McCready yell, "Well, fuck you too!" at the Blair monster. Then I awoke about 6:30 a.m., made a trip to the toilet and back (quite a jaunt in this place), and upon returning to the bedroom discovered that I was quite entirely awake. I tied a scarf about my face (with Spooky's help), then lay there about half an hour, watching the room grow lighter (not a very thick scarf, I'm afraid). Finally, in frustration, I asked Spooky for more Ambien. She reluctantly gave me a third of a tablet, which put me back to sleep until just before 10 a.m.

Thanks to a Sobe Adrenaline Rush, I figure I'm now about 74% awake. At seven this morning, I was probably 95% awake.

So...there's no way to know how today will go. I want to get this story started (though I did learn yesterday that it isn't due until the end of July, and I'd thought it was due on the first, which is a huge relief).

My thanks to Gregory, for what I'm assuming is the last of the -0th birthday presents. The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay (for XBox) arrived yesterday afternoon. I think this just might be the coolest game ever (despite the first-person shooter feature). We shall have a go at it tonight (and I shall return to Prince of Persia, as well, because my resolve is greater than any games' contrivances). If anyone else sent a gift and I've not received it, you should probably e-mail Spooky at humglum@yahoo.com and figure out what's up. Again, my sleepy thanks to everyone.

I've gotten a little better, the last year or so, about how I react to what people on the internet write about my work (as opposed to actual published reviews in actual magazines), but I came across one yesterday, in a "review" of Love in Vein II, that I think bears remarking upon, if only to underscore the significance of Sadie's comments, regarding her own work, on p. 18 of Low Red Moon (Roc edition). I quote:

Things take a turn for the worse with Caitlin R Kiernan's "Bela's Plot". I saw the title and mentally groaned, please don't be Bela Lugosi, I thought...but it was. At least it was a few trendy vamp-wannabe's who sit at his graveside and read him poetry. I know she's Poppy's best mate, but that's no excuse for writing such pap. She has this odd stylistic quirk where she takes two words, and puts them together to make a new word, almost portmanteau: milkfaded; too-blue; smudge-tinted; coke-fine; lipsticky; creamslick; tuxedo-neat. Most of these are in the first three pages. The first one I thought was good, but then they just kept on coming.

Would it be petty of me to correct his grammar?

I just can't help but be amazed at how our schools have spawned a generation of supposedly literate adults (at least, this person claims to be an adult) who seem never to have encountered the works of James Joyce or William Faulkner or any of the other authors who instigated mine and Sadie's "odd stylistic quirk [sic]" of creating new compound words in an effort to make the English language just a little more flexible and descriptive. Why, when faced with "novelty" (my older style wasn't novel, mind you, unless you'd missed an awful lot of important authors before me) do so many readers balk and withdraw in anger and disgust and confusion, shrouding themselves in arbitrary grammatical "rules" they hardly seem to understand in the first place? Never mind that my style has evolved a great deal since "Bela's Plot" (written late in 1994) and rarely employs these compounderations nowadays; this sort of criticism remains as offensive and idiotic as it ever was, and it points to one of the reasons that genre fiction is so ghettoized.

Yesterday, nothing was written. And you already know about the eyeball Nazis. We're still looking for a way to thwart them. At this point, it'd be easier just to get the frelling eye exams and be done with it. But it's the principle. What next? No dental prothestics without your dentist's approval (and a kickback)? No make-up without a letter from a dermatologist? The status quo's antiquated conception of The Body as immutable and sacred is once again standing in the way of those who'd make alterations. Hell, in Georgia we now have the twat police to protect us against genital piercings.

Now I'm angry again, angry and sleepy.

Come on, guys. Talk to me. Keep me awake. There are worse things in my dreams than grammar facists and eyeball Nazis.

Comments

( 25 comments — Have your say! )
pinkteaset3
Jun. 9th, 2004 05:57 pm (UTC)
greygirlbeast
Jun. 9th, 2004 06:08 pm (UTC)
Oooooooooooh.

Give me and Spooky a few minutes. I'm gonna show 'em some death.
pinkteaset3
Jun. 9th, 2004 06:16 pm (UTC)
yay!

xx
Mella
greygirlbeast
Jun. 9th, 2004 07:52 pm (UTC)
Try this:

The End

It's just a first try. We're gonna yet way more ambitous.
pinkteaset3
Jun. 9th, 2004 08:11 pm (UTC)
Beautiful.. It may just be the shadowy nature of the lighting, but it looks like you've got soome nice post-mortem bruising about the eyes and cheekbones. Very poster-worthy (as in, I would part with cash for prints of these at your cafe press store.. fridge magnets.. t-shirts.. mmmmmm)

When you are in your Nar'eth finery, I hope you can do a Nebari death scene for us! Imagine the deaths you can photograph at Dragon*con. (I am looking into cost-effective ways to attend this, incidentally, and if I do, I want you to kill me and photograph my corpse)

xx
Mella
greygirlbeast
Jun. 9th, 2004 08:42 pm (UTC)
Beautiful.. It may just be the shadowy nature of the lighting, but it looks like you've got soome nice post-mortem bruising about the eyes and cheekbones.

I did some subtle shading before we took the pictures.

Very poster-worthy

Let's wait until we take some better pix. I'm really not happy with these. I just don't look nearly dead enough.

When you are in your Nar'eth finery, I hope you can do a Nebari death scene for us!

That could be very cool, but I'd run the risk of frelling up the $300 make-up job, so I don't know. What I might do, instead, is do the Nebari make-up myself with greasepaint and shoot the Nar'eth death with that. Ahhhhh. Blue blood.

(I am looking into cost-effective ways to attend this, incidentally,

This would be so very cool, if you could.

and if I do, I want you to kill me and photograph my corpse

Anytime.
blu_muse
Jun. 10th, 2004 04:04 am (UTC)
Weeeeeeeeeeee...fun.

Probably the best death photos I've ever seen were done by Kyle Cassidy - called "Punk Rock Divorce." Myke Hideous was at my house once and I showed them to him and even HE got grosed out. I wish there were better ones to show you but this is the only one I can find online anymore: http://www.asc.upenn.edu/usr/cassidy/pix/portfolio/6/7.jpg
Darenzia used to have the whole series up on her site but its not there anymore and that's the only one I can find still on Kyle's site. Kyle also has some great shots of The Dresden Dolls (look under "Levitating" for a fun one and under the "Photo-A-Week Project" for more Dresden Doll stuff: http://www.kylecassidy.com/
greygirlbeast
Jun. 10th, 2004 05:15 am (UTC)
Probably the best death photos I've ever seen were done by Kyle Cassidy - called "Punk Rock Divorce."

Nice...
(Deleted comment)
pinkteaset3
Jun. 9th, 2004 06:49 pm (UTC)
Those are pretty deaths..

xx
Mella
(no subject) - ohlert - Jun. 9th, 2004 06:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
blu_muse
Jun. 9th, 2004 06:09 pm (UTC)
misery loves company
You could be like me: trapped at work under vicious lights taking dictation from my boss. It's a memo on shipping/receiving procedueres to the lazy warehouse manager in the back. The memo won't make him any better. The memo will just make him mad at me and probably more determined not to do his job right. But I typed it out anyway and at 4pm we'll have a meeting just so I can deliver it in person and in front of everyone else. It says it's from me but it's not. My boss hates confrontations. Meanwhile, we might not get paid on Friday because Bush declared it a national holidy due to Regan's death. Everything is delayed until Monday. Screw America's workers. They don't need to eat over the weekend. You have no idea how happy that makes me. But hey - I *do* have a movie pass I haven't used yet and that just might buy my way into see The Chronicles of Riddick this weekend.

Sorry you can't sleep. I just don't think some people are meant to sleep at night. I can't. Can you sleep easily in the daytime? Maybe you're just a nocturnal person. It's all I can do to force myself to bed at night during the week and it takes me 2 whole hours to wake up enough to drive. On the weekends I revert back to nocturnal hours and nap the afternoons away!

Do you not like first person shooter games? That's what my brother is working on right now... somethig VERY cool with zombies.

And finally, for a distraction, check out: http://www.nivbed.com/
This is an artist friend of my brother's. His artwork is wonderful and quite a few of them remind me of your stories.



greygirlbeast
Jun. 10th, 2004 05:12 am (UTC)
Re: misery loves company
Can you sleep easily in the daytime?

Only every time I get still.

For years and years I've been working in the days, staying up very late, sleeping after 2 a.m. or so, getting up about 9:30. But lately something's been out-of-whack. I wake up too early and stay up too late. The dreams don't help, and no one's ever been able to do anything about them.
asru
Jun. 9th, 2004 06:26 pm (UTC)
Hell, in Georgia we now have the twat police to protect us against genital piercings.

That shouldn't have made me snigger, but it really did. Strange images wandering through my mind.
wishlish
Jun. 9th, 2004 07:00 pm (UTC)
New, from Chef Boyardee! Grammar facists and eyeball Nazis in a can! Only the finest eyeballs and Nazis are good enough for the Chef! Swimming in a luxurious primavera sauce and made with love! Available with or without a side dish of Usenet trolls.

Weird thing- this week, I'm working at a data processing cube farm for sleep clinics. You should read some of these questionnaires. One woman was so happy that these things existed.

But I read these studies, and I can see the hidden horrors that they create. What sort of dreams do you have when you sleep in a sleep study clinic, oxygen mask strapped onto your face, not by a loved one, but by a technician who might knife you while you sleep? What about the housewife who decides that she sleeps much better away from her husband, and arranges a string of fake prescriptions for sleep studies, as she becomes addicted to the taste of the mask, the feel of the chairbed, the scratchy, starchy sheets? What of the technicians who study the jumpy legs, the off-key snores, the eyelid twitches?

Ah, well. Next week, the real movie event happens. My ex-employer has hired me back- at three times my former salary. Can I hire the WWE to choreograph my entrance? AC/DC's Back in Black blasting, fireworks exploding, Jim Ross yelling, "My Gawd! He's back!"

logane
Jun. 9th, 2004 07:51 pm (UTC)
One thing I've always loved about your work is that it taught me how to think outside the box. Language is a living thing, constantly growing and mutating. Your example made me feel freer to construct words that say what I mean if none exist. I also think it's more organic, imitating the way we all think. We rarely use a single adjective to describe something, and that stylistic usage reminds me of how the mind will tumble through several words before settling on one or two or five that feel right.
jacobluest
Jun. 9th, 2004 08:41 pm (UTC)
Far be it for me to extract entertainment from people's suffering, but what sort of nightmares do you have? I kept a nightmare log when I had a slew of them for a couple months, it was pretty interesting...

~Jacob
greygirlbeast
Jun. 9th, 2004 08:46 pm (UTC)
Far be it for me to extract entertainment from people's suffering, but what sort of nightmares do you have?

I don't even know how to answer that question, but I'll make two weak attempts:

a) Read my books. It's all in there.

b) If my dreams were candy, they'd be chocolate filled with cherry goo and radioactive Drano.

jacobluest
Jun. 9th, 2004 09:24 pm (UTC)
Mmm mmm angry candy. Hope the Ambien works out for you, then. I kind of miss my nightmares, looking back of course. They did give me some interesting images to colour my material with.
If Ambien robs you of your dreams though, what a softed-edged horror that will be...

~Jacob
gregux2002
Jun. 9th, 2004 10:59 pm (UTC)
Glad you finally got Riddick. Especially glad you were so happy about it. After reading your comments on games the other day, I was worried it would just add to your list of things to be pissed off about.

Keep us posed on what you like or don't like about the game. That game, and Doom III might finally convince me to break down and get an X-Box. (I am a sucker for first-person shooters.)

Hope you get the contact problem resolved. A chance to see Nar'eth in person might be a good reason for me to attend Dragon*Con this year. (It's been a long time since the horrors that were GenCon, circa 1980, and I really need to get over it.) The pictures you've posted of Nar'eth look cool as hell, but I bet they don't do her justice.

Also, will copies of Murder of Angels be available at Dragon*Con? I know the current release date is Sept. 7, the day after the con, but it seems silly to waste the opportunity with so many potential buyers in one place at the same time.

Like the note on Riddick said, Kick some ass!
greygirlbeast
Jun. 10th, 2004 03:56 pm (UTC)
Also, will copies of Murder of Angels be available at Dragon*Con?

Yes, almost certainly. I expect to have Murder of Angels, Low Red Moon (both editions), and The Five of Cups on sale at Dragon*Con (and a few other odds and ends).

A chance to see Nar'eth in person might be a good reason for me to attend Dragon*Con this year.

You should try to attend. Dragon*Con is a spectacle.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 10th, 2004 01:20 am (UTC)
Do you have this yet?

Nope.
fornikate
Jun. 10th, 2004 02:01 am (UTC)
I like it when you do that! That was one of the things I loved the most about your earlier stuff.
aggrovixen
Jun. 10th, 2004 04:11 am (UTC)
Ambien
I'm not sure what strength you're taking, but it's been my experience that the 5mg tabs don't work worth a damn for very many people. If it's not working properly within another night or so I'd call your Dr and ask if you can bump up the dose.
greygirlbeast
Jun. 10th, 2004 03:37 pm (UTC)
Re: Ambien
I'm not sure what strength you're taking, but it's been my experience that the 5mg tabs don't work worth a damn for very many people.

I have 10mg tabs.
( 25 comments — Have your say! )