September 13th, 2007


The Thursdays just keep coming.

I tried, just now, to take that "Career Matchmaker" quiz thing that's making the rounds. I didn't make it past the first question. It was something like, "Do you enjoy working with children?" And I sat and stared at it a while. And I asked Spooky, "Does this mean toddlers, or preschoolers, kindergarteners, second graders, middle-school students, or teens?" And then I realized that the question does not even try to define "work." And so I gave up. Which is a pretty fair example of why I have had such a rough time of it in this society. But "work" and "children" are very broad terms, and I cannot agree to something if I do not know what I am agreeing to. I once had a psychotherapist at the end of her tether, because I couldn't make it through the stupid goddamn MMPI. One question I recall, "People are trying to influence my thoughts," and I'm supposed to say yes or no, whatever. So I said yes, of course, thinking of commercials and advertising, mainly, but also of religion and nationalist propaganda and so forth, only to learn later the question was one of many designed to detect paranoia and schizophrenia. I was told I'm too analytical, and I replied that the test was absurdly vague. If people want to know about the voices in my head, they should bloody well ask.

My thanks to everyone who has offered up a suggestion for a piece for Sirenia Digest #22. There have been a few intriguing one. If you missed yesterday's addendum, I wrote:

"Waaaaaay back in 2005 when I started Sirenia Digest, I said that one thing I would be doing is "taking requests." However, for one reason or another, it's never happened. I want to try it this month. Is there something you would like to see done that I haven't yet done? A theme? A scenario? A kink? Whatever. You may post your suggestion here or, if you would rather this just be between you and I, you may email your suggestion/s to me at greygirlbeast(at)gmail(dot)com. If I choose your request you'll win something. I don't know what, but something. Note that requests may not involve the copyrighted work of writers other than myself, and, for that matter, I would prefer it not center on any of my established/pre-existing characters. Speak up. I may never be in this mood again."

And I'm still open to suggestions, so, if you have not already replied, or if you've already replied but have since thought of something better, it's not too late.

Yesterday, I sat and stared at a "blank sheet of paper." I wish. Actually, I stared at a blank "page" in Microsoft Word, trying to will a story into being. I stared, and no story came. Those are the worst sorts of days. Technically, I must be working. I sat here for four or five hours, staring, thinking, discarding ideas. Meanwhile, Spooky edited five stories in Tales of Pain and Wonder, proving that editing on her own, without my dithering input, things go more than twice as fast. She did "Bela's Plot," "Tears Seven Times Salt," "Superheroes," "Glass Coffin," and "Breakfast in the House of the Rising Sun." To me, that sounds much more like work than staring at a blank MS Word file.

Last night, we watched Hellboy Animated: Sword of Storms (2006), which was somewhat entertaining, though the animation was nothing to get excited about. Tonight, we'll probably watch Hellboy Animated: Blood and Iron (2007).

Okay. Platypus says it's time to stare, so stare I shall. We disregard the platypus at our own peril.