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Somehow, I'm managing to sleep too much and badly. Epic nightmares, and then I wake at 10:30 when I should be waking at 9. My mind is too restless, whether I'm awake and asleep, worrying at too many things that should be left alone. I can't seem to find my way into "Bainbridge" (the "last" Dancy Flammarion story), and I'm getting behinder and behinder. This can't go on. I have to begin this story. I have to begin editing Daughter of Hounds. Before I'm ready, it'll be time to write the vignettes for Sirenia Digest #2 (Subscribe! Subscribe!). The story has to find its beginning today. I have to find its beginning. Dancy somewhere just south of Bainbridge, Georgia. This is the story which ends five day before the events in "Alabaster." It doesn't help that it's cold as a Republican's tit here. It's easier to write about summer when it's not winter., yeah. Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, and John Gibson, three of those Disney animatronic talking-head thingies on Fox News, would have us believe that "war" has been declared against Xmas. No, really. Gibson has even "written" a book about it — The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday Is Worse Than You Thought (Sentinel, October 2005). To hear them tell it, Xmas is now an endangered holiday. This surely explains why I can't go to the market or the drugstore or the frelling post office without having to listen to Xmas music. This would also explain why I can't watch half an hour of television without having to endure twelve or fifteen minutes of Xmas commercials. It explains those giant inflatable snow men that people are putting on their lawns and the tacky plastic nativity scenes outside the churches. Clearly, the fact that I have to look at gaudy fucking Xmas crap from October until early January is ample evidence of the rapid decline of poor, oppressed Xmas. Too many people saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Xmas." And you just know it's the fault of all those damned secular, liberal, progressive, vegan turkey huggers. Oh, yeah. I blame them. When Santa's out of work and the reindeer have been sold of to the dog-food factory, they're the ones I'll blame. First, white men are pushed to the very edge of extinction. Now Xmas. What's the world coming to? Is nothing sacred? The fag-loving, whale-saving, drug-crazed, baby-aborting masses won't stop until all those heathens who, out of sheer wicked stubbornness, want nothing to do with Xmas actually feel comfortable entering a shopping mall in December. Why can't they just move to Europe or Canada and leave all the good, red-blooded Americans alone to enjoy their gluttonous Messianic consumerist passion play? Sheesh.

Wait! Are those locusts I hear?

Oh. My mistake. It's just the space heater. Whoops.


Have I mentioned Cephalopodmas? It's the next big thing.

And speaking of tentacles, did everyone get Sirenia Digest #1?


( 27 comments — Have your say! )
Dec. 16th, 2005 05:16 pm (UTC)
'And speaking of tentacles, did everyone get Sirenia Digest #1?'

That's affirmative, Captain.
Dec. 16th, 2005 05:19 pm (UTC)

Says. It. All.

This year, in fact, I have declared my own private war on X-mass in the form of the creation of a new identity: Stanta Cluse, the AntiClaus. It all started with a mispelling in a letter to Santa that was printed in the newspaper I work for. I observed the name "Stanta Cluse" and was immediately struck with the realization that this character is, in fact, the very antithesis of Santa Claus: he breaks into people's houses and takes stuff on Christmas Eve...including the Christmas Spirit, the Meaning of Christmas, and all ghosts, Past, Present, and Future.
Dec. 16th, 2005 05:25 pm (UTC)
In addition to the Christmas story, I had to go to one of those corporate forced Christmas parties and I kid you not, we had prayer before our little "dinner." A nice Christian prayer, too, which the Jewish guy in the office probably didn't appreciate it. In fact, he was so afraid of offending anyone, that as my Secret Santa, he wrapped my present in Hanukkah paper inside out so I wouldn't see the "Happy Hanukkah." I assured him Hanukkah was much less offensive to me than Christianity *L*

I didn't even know it was allowed to have prayer at work - for some reason, I thought it was illegal or SOMETHING.
Dec. 16th, 2005 10:45 pm (UTC)
I think the legality is limited to hiring practices. (I kept meaning to do more research on this at my last, cult-like work environment.)

You might be able to make a case on "hostile work environment", but in today's culture, I think it'd have to be pretty extreme. Even government which is supposed to be secular, is pretty entrenched. When I proposed a bill in the YMCA Youth and Goverment mock legislature that would stop opening every session with a prayer, the real Speaker of the House apparently showed up to quash the fake bill. (Albeit behind the scenes.)
Dec. 16th, 2005 05:52 pm (UTC)
I wonder if I can get Cephalopodmas cards printed up in time for Dec 22nd?

Yeah, Oreilly should have told his web guys about Christmas earlier.
Dec. 16th, 2005 05:54 pm (UTC)
sirenia #1. check. beautiful artwork by vince locke, check.
war on christmas? got my guns ready, colonel.

(the is beautiful, btw.)
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 16th, 2005 06:22 pm (UTC)
Ya know...there must be something terribly wrong with my perception if this war is underway since, like you, I'm inundated with the advertising smear from October till whenever.
I do not foist my bah humbug on others.
I do, indeed, gift the wee ones as their parents celebrate.
And I've said 'happy holidays' since my teen years ('70's) from a desire
to not leave anyone out. That sure got twisted.
I'd offer my usual 'shoot your television' but that campaign doesn't go well so...happy holidays Caitlin, Spooky and critters.
Dec. 16th, 2005 06:31 pm (UTC)
Hey, we're doing the whole Cephalopodmas festivities whole-hog this year: Cephalopodmas is my day off anyway, so guess who's going out to the Dallas World Aquarium to say hello to the giant Pacific octopus on display?
Dec. 16th, 2005 07:07 pm (UTC)
I am obviously Doomed.
*sigh* I had to succumb to the LJ. How else could I find out whether you're interested in the OST for Mirrormask?

Fox News, would have us believe that "war" has been declared against Xmas....To hear them tell it, Xmas is now an endangered holiday.

The war against Xmas, for me, is really only one theater of my War Against the Mall. Which is part of a larger campaign called "War Against America Telling Me to Buy More Shit I Don't Need".

And don't get me started on the War Against Xmas Muzak, either.

And speaking of tentacles, did everyone get Sirenia Digest #1?

Yup. I'm still flirting with FT&T, though. False Starts was tantalizing, even if nothing came of the starts themselves, they do seem to be fertile ground.
Dec. 16th, 2005 07:19 pm (UTC)
Curse those turkeys from Vega! Always after our lucky faith!

After one of our evangelical co-workers invited the company to a "true meaning of Christmas" luncheon, pfarley's Saturnalia got passed around quite a bit in our department. I'm thinking Cephalopodmas needs its own website.
Dec. 16th, 2005 07:55 pm (UTC)
I'm thinking Cephalopodmas needs its own website.

Indeed. I'd provide the content if someone would register the domain and give it a home. I wonder if is taken yet?
Dec. 16th, 2005 10:34 pm (UTC)
It is now.
Dec. 17th, 2005 12:25 am (UTC)
Dec. 16th, 2005 07:44 pm (UTC)
Cephalopodmas is my new holiday. I hope Great Cthulhu brings me something wonderful -- like DEATH and DESTRUCTION.
Dec. 16th, 2005 07:54 pm (UTC)
Cephalopodmas is my new holiday.

We need carols.
Dec. 16th, 2005 08:08 pm (UTC)
Hope you don't mind my intrusion.

May I suggest "Holy Diver" by Dio?

Holy Diver
You've been down too long in the midnight sea

Dec. 16th, 2005 08:18 pm (UTC)
May I suggest "Holy Diver" by Dio?

That might work.
Dec. 17th, 2005 07:38 am (UTC)
Weren't there some HPL carols floating around on the web last year or so?
Dec. 17th, 2005 07:40 am (UTC)
Oh, right, the Lovecraft Historical Society released "A Very Scary Solstice." I must own this.
Dec. 16th, 2005 11:22 pm (UTC)
May I recommend "I Crush Everything" by Jonathan Coulton?
Dec. 16th, 2005 07:45 pm (UTC)

Tom Tomorrow says it best, doesn't he?

I got the PDF. I just need to read it....stupid time crunch...

I did read Wimbledom Green, the Greatest Comic Book Collector by Seth yesterday. Now THAT'S a fun comic.
Dec. 16th, 2005 07:52 pm (UTC)
Oh, that's frelling perfect. Thanks for the link!
Dec. 16th, 2005 08:38 pm (UTC)
Sirenia #1 arrived, and is lovely.

sovay has more eloquent things to say about it over here .
Dec. 16th, 2005 11:06 pm (UTC)
Conversely, I received Sirenia Digest # 1 before I received Frog Toes and Tentacles. I know you have no control over Subtrranean Press or the post office but I still haven't received my copy of Frog Toes and Tentacles, should I be worried?
Dec. 17th, 2005 12:23 am (UTC)
I know you have no control over Subtrranean Press or the post office but I still haven't received my copy of Frog Toes and Tentacles, should I be worried?

Probably not. Give it a few more days. I am sorry that it's taking so long, though.
Dec. 18th, 2005 01:00 am (UTC)
Mine arrived yesterday (Friday) so I wouldn't worry too much.
( 27 comments — Have your say! )

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