greygirlbeast (greygirlbeast) wrote,

The Cliff

Bright and sunny today. But the weather is cooler. Our high was only 87˚F.

I did not begin the novel I am trying to begin; maybe tomorrow.

I am trying to disassemble a scaffolding of defense mechanisms I carefully built, beginning last spring, to allow me to cope with COVID-19 lock down/self isolation by minimizing boredom and anxiety, and it is proving far more difficult than I had expected. I did a good job, and tearing the thing down is harder than it was to erect it. Just going outside is a chore – not because I continue to be afraid of catching the coronavirus, but simply because I spent a year virtually never leaving the house because I was afraid of catching the coronavirus. I accounted for almost every minute of every day. I allowed very little "free" time, time that was not allotted to some pursuit scheduled for that specific portion of the day, whether it was reading, working, watching a movie, having a snack, brushing my teeth, or – well, you get the idea. Under normal conditions, this is clearly pathological, but it got me through the thirteen months until Kathryn and I could be vaccinated. Now, I immunity to COVID-19 is about 95%, ~88% against the Delta variant, and, for now, that's as good as I can get. I need to start living like a person again, and, back to where this started, it is not proving easy. Just forcing myself to leave the house for a few minutes a day takes effort. Breaking down that elaborate schedule is proving almost impossible. It does not help that I was reclusive when this began.

Today's comfort movie was Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. I miss 1969, when I was five and my heroes were cowboys and astronauts.

Speaking of, yesterday I finished my re-read of The Right Stuff and began re-reading Sagan's The Demon-Haunted World. This book not only warned of America (indeed, the world) arriving at the exact place we currently find ourselves, twenty-five years after it's publication, but it points the way out. If it could be heard.

Kathryn's birthday is still impending, and it's still not too late to have a look at her Amazon wishlist. Thank you.

Aunt Beast

5:05 p.m. (not a snek)
Tags: 1969, carl sagan, covid-19, frustrations, good movies, green, lost days, outside, pseudoscience, science, stupidity, the horror clown, the right stuff, then vs. now, tom wolfe

  • Postcards from the Air Mattress

    Sunny today. Our high was 75˚F, and it is now...still 75˚F. The past two days have been spent, largely, lying on an air mattress in the living room,…

  • Open Wide

    Another sunny day, a little warmer. Our high was 74˚F, and it is currently 73˚F. So, why did I not get to go to McWane this week, either? Remember…

  • Temporal Exhaustion

    Sunny today, but chilly. Our high was 71˚F. Currently, it's 66˚F, and we are expecting a low of 46˚F. Spooky got me a new space heater today from…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 1 comment