greygirlbeast (greygirlbeast) wrote,

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A staircase to nowhere.

Cooler weather again today, but things are warming back up beginning tomorrow. Our high today was only 81˚F, with the heat index. Currently, it's a chilly 69˚F.

And, once again, I slept no more than about four hours.

I sorta (but only sorta) miss the old days when I allowed myself to drone on here about more private and personal matters. Like depression. Because right now, yeah, it's pretty fucking bad. Of course, talking never helps. I know that. But years of therapy have instilled in me a knee-jerk belief to the contrary. Of course talking helps! Why else would people pay therapists? Or have priests? Or...anyway.

Plus, because I am an idiot and an utter masochist, I allowed myself to look at the news today. Because it isn't bad enough that I'm already struggling with my usual background levels of depression, anxiety, dread, and despair. No, I gotta go adding the latest on a zoonotic pandemic, the imminent collapse of Western civilization, the largest global recession since the Great Depression, and lots of fun shit like that. So, whee. That was my day. I didn't write. I didn't prep. I didn't write paleo. I didn't do diddly squat.

Oh, except I logged into GW2 for the first time in three weeks.

I feel as if we have all been sentenced to a very strange and lingering death. That's what I said to Spooky when we were out walking around the building in the twilight (just before I took the photo of the very obliging Leptoglossus phyllopus, below).

I also went with Kathryn to Walgreens and the market today. Did I mention whee? At least most people were wearing their masks, the new pink.

Okay. Enough wallowing. For tonight, at least.

Later Taters,
Aunt Beast

6:23 p.m.
Tags: anxiety, bad days, bugs, chaos, cooler weather, covid-19, depression, despair, dread, gw2, insects, insomnia, money, not enough sleep, not working, outside, pandemonium, psychology, the news, wasted days

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