greygirlbeast (greygirlbeast) wrote,

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"The sound that's counted so many days."

I suppose that what comes after bitter cold is dangerous cold. Yesterday, it became dangerously cold here in Providence. Currently, it's sunny and 11˚F, with the windchill registering at -5˚F. I don't know how cold it got last night, though I know the low was supposed to be 3˚F. There was some light snow. This is misery.

It's been almost a week, I think, since I've seen the much of the news, in any form. I know that there's a ceasefire in Aleppo, which I picked up accidentally off the front page of Wikipedia. Otherwise, I have no idea what's happening out there, and I do not want to know. The news has become toxic. And my knowing the wretched state of things changes the wretched state of things not one iota. I'm wondering if I can keep this up for four years. I know it sounds like cowardice. Probably it is, and I'll own that. But I'm not well, and I'm not working, and I have to get better and work, and neither thing will happen unless I look away.

We went out in cold to the market yesterday. I've been up here for eight and a half years, and I still haven't bought a coat that's suitable for Rhode Island winters. Mostly, I wear my light wool coat that I bought in late 2001, which I still think of as my "new coat."

Aunt Beast
Tags: 2001, cold weather, depression, exhaustion, fear, not sleeping, not working, not writing, sick, the news

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