Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

"The vicious circle turns and burns."

We didn't get any snow, or if we did it was only a few flurries and we missed it. Today, it's sunny and windy and a chilly 36˚F here in Providence.

This likely won't be the entry I want it to be. Or the entry I need it to be. I need to write about why I find myself suddenly at a loss as to how to move forward as a novelist. I have two books in the works, both hardly begun, The Starkeeper and Interstate Love Song. The former is not a novel I can write now, given the events of November 8th and the subsequent consequences of those events. It is too humane, too entirely introspective, too gentle. The Starkeeper needs me to go places I cannot go with the threat of Trump's America hanging like a guillotine over us all. And Interstate Love Song is such a vicious pageant of murder and mayhem that I don't know that I can allow myself to dwell there at novel length, for the many months required, when the country is in so dark and deadly a place. The world does not need more horror.

I doubt I'm making myself clear. I'm not very awake, though I've been up for two and a half hours. I'm having to use Klonopin to sleep, and it takes forever for it to wear off.

No, I didn't write yesterday. I spent hours trying to talk through this problem. I do not know what to do. I know that as a novelist I have responsibilities, but I do not know how I am meant, during this crises, to address those artistic responsibilities.

And don't tell me about how we need entertainment and distraction now more than ever. I have never written to provide either entertainment or distraction.

I have this from Facebook, posted late last night:

It is absolutely critical that the anger not fade. And first and foremost, in this moment, my anger is directed at the people who could have – by their votes – stopped this unfolding nightmare by peaceful, democratic means, but who chose not to do so. I'm not taking about that percentage of the electorate who could not vote (for whatever reason), but about the percentage who styled themselves progressives, too ideologically pure for a centrist/moderate like Clinton, and voted for a third-party candidate, wrote in the name of someone who was not running, or just sat on their asses and did nothing. They are as surely the authors of the coming fascism and suffering and losses as if they'd voted for Donald Trump, and they will not be allowed to forget this.

"Bad men need nothing more to compass their ends, than that good men should look on and do nothing." ~ John Stuart Mill (1867)

And from Twitter:

So, did Wikileaks run out of stolen documents, or did they just back off because their mission to help Trump win the election succeeded?


Last night, Spooky made chicken stew and we watched a John Waters double feature, Hairspray (1988) and Cry-Baby (1990). And now I need to try and work.

Is anyone actually going to celebrate Thanksgiving this week?

Aunt Beast


( 7 comments — Have your say! )
Nov. 21st, 2016 04:39 pm (UTC)
I won't be celebrating Thanksgiving on Thursday. My brother died in September, after a very short and horrifically brutal fight with kidney cancer, and I just don't have it in me to play the "everything is normal" game. No family has been invited over, but a couple of friends will come by for dinner. Usually, I go balls to the wall with dinner on holidays because I love to cook and I show love via cooking, but this year will be very simple (or as simple as my brain will allow).

In relation to your statement about The Starkeeper, though- what does this mean for the Patreon campaign? My dedicated eight months just came to a head this month and I would like to renew my pledge, regardless of whether or not you're working on The Starkeeper. I just want to help out.

Or does the "minimum of eight months" actually stop automatically? I looked, but I can't tell. Regardless, I do want to keep contributing.

Edited at 2016-11-21 04:44 pm (UTC)
Nov. 21st, 2016 04:45 pm (UTC)

There will be another novel, and whatever novel it is, my pledge to all Patreon supporters remains unchanged. It's just a question of what the actual novel turns out to be. And thank you, because without my Patreon backers, I wouldn't be writing any novel at all.

And no, Patreon doesn't automatically end your pledge.

Edited at 2016-11-21 04:48 pm (UTC)
Nov. 21st, 2016 04:51 pm (UTC)
I really like those pictures.

It does seem weird to celebrate any holiday. Yet at the same time I feel a need to find some escape, even temporary. A classmate asked me how my semester was going and I said, "Everything's normal except with an added, general haze of futility."

Anyway, I hope you find good luck with the novels.
Nov. 21st, 2016 07:09 pm (UTC)
I'm having to use Klonopin to sleep, and it takes forever for it to wear off.

I'm having the same issue lately.
Nov. 21st, 2016 07:41 pm (UTC)
The same goes for me about my monthly Patreon donation, as I'm sure that it does for most of your other Patreon backers. And whether or not the new novel takes eight months or eighty, don't even worry about that aspect of things, because I'm in it for as long as you need it. Even if you never produced another work of fiction, the body of work that you HAVE produced up till now has given me so many hours of pleasure since I met you in '98 that you've more than earned it many times over, in my humble opinion.
Nov. 22nd, 2016 02:11 am (UTC)
Is anyone actually going to celebrate Thanksgiving this week?

Yes, although I understand that different people are doing different things. Thanksgiving has no importance to my family as a religious holiday or a celebration of American history, but it is a gathering of family/community and I grew up in the tradition that you don't stop living when terrible things happen—if anything you live more fiercely, if necessary right up to the point where you actually die. Holidays are one way of doing that. You don't pretend things aren't terrible. You do things despite them.
Nov. 22nd, 2016 06:59 am (UTC)
It’s important to us to preserve some vestige of normalcy before things really hit the fan. We’ll be having our usual turkey sausage calzone, and this year trying out a deconstructed turkey, with a variety of family and friends showing up.
( 7 comments — Have your say! )