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"What if the world dies with the sunrise?"

A rainy day today, and chilly. More like April than June. But a Beast abides.

My birth name has finally turned up on my Wikipedia entry. It was always only a matter of time, and after the bibliography in Two Worlds and In Between, in which I included my birth name, was published, I knew it would be sooner rather than later. I'm rather surprised to find that I'm really not upset. Yes, that's who I was. I think I began reclaiming my former self back in the autumn of 2014, when I started posting pre-transition photographs on Facebook. So, this is only a continuation of a process I set in motion, and when I allowed the name to be published it became a matter of public record.

So, yeah, while it's all weird and a little confusing, I think I'm okay with this. I've been Caitlín for twenty-six years now. That's one year long than I wore my birth name. And whatever power it still has over me, I've made my peace with that.

Aunt Beast


( 6 comments — Have your say! )
Jun. 3rd, 2016 04:29 pm (UTC)
I am fascinated by the bird, which looks almost like an avian lava lamp.
Brett Davidson
Jun. 3rd, 2016 06:09 pm (UTC)
Aha, Derek Jarman. Of course.
Good that you feel some peace.
Jun. 4th, 2016 02:04 am (UTC)
My birth name has finally turned up on my Wikipedia entry.

Well, I'm glad you're feeling okay with it. You're quite Caitlín as far as I can tell. I was just telling someone a few days ago how tired I am of society's relentless compulsion to force people into identity categories. As far as I can see, your accumulated actions and words define you as Caitlín far better than any name. A Caitlín by any other name, etc.
Jun. 4th, 2016 03:28 pm (UTC)
Old names
I haven't used my old name for 20 years (so that's about a third of my life), but I am coming to peace with my old name and self. I really don't know how I would feel about my old name becoming public though.

One reason I'm against trans people's old names getting published is the possible motive behind it. It's like we are *really* old name, and that we are *really* our assigned at birth gender.

On the other hand, in the writing of a biography, the use of previous names is merely reflecting reality - We were called old name, now we are called new name.
Kiki Lang
Jun. 4th, 2016 06:25 pm (UTC)
Time and tide.
I never came here to be a nosy busybody. I like your work I have always felt that there is meaning in everything, you just have to look hard enough. Writing is a mix of the mundane, and the magical. Sort of like a golden magical meat grinder. Writes take the less savory aspects of their life experience, and grind them up with spices, and make them much more appealing then original source. The truth, no, a lie, no. I once read of a superstition where it was believed that people born with an cowl (Amniotic sack)over their head, had a special affinity with the sea. They could never drown, or be happy away from the ocean. I know you were born with a cowl, and the ocean seems to not only have close tug on you personally, but it seems to play a prominent place in your written work. So what? I think we live in a big world, and life is a mystery. A writer's work is always bigger then who they are. What's your real name? I don't give a damn.

Edited at 2016-06-04 06:27 pm (UTC)
Jun. 5th, 2016 03:51 pm (UTC)
Re: Time and tide.

Just to be clear, my "real" name is Caitlín R. Kiernan. My birth name was that other name. Not the same thing.
( 6 comments — Have your say! )


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