Wonderful thunderstorms this morning. It's still raining.
Last night, we rented Blade: Trinity. That is, we made the mistake of renting Blade: Trinity. I think I've just realized that there's absolutely no point writing a scathing review of this movie. I'll just say it was awful, and I was disappointed, because a) I liked the first Blade film and b) I really liked the second Blade film (both surprised me). And David Goyer's not a total moron, so I was expecting this to be something fun, at least. There is a tiny speck of enjoyment to be had. Parker Posey is delicious, and there should have been a whole lot more of her. Ryan Reynolds gets one good line out of all those dumb jokes, the "cock-juggling thunder cunt" crack. But that was about it. Bad script. Bad acting. Bad direction. Terrible editing. No pacing whatsoever. At least two or three plots running headlong into each other. Fully one-third of the film's an iPod commercial. Wesley Snipes spends most of the film looking like he just wants to be somewhere else. I know I did. This film felt so small, after the somewhat epic scope of Blade II. Was this mess the fault of the studio? Who knows. I don't. I even watched the "director's cut." It was still awful. The whole Scoopy-Gang-Angel ripoff thing, I mean, I just don't know how crap like this gets greenlighted. This should have been a Big Dumb Fun movie. Instead, it's a dull, flabby final milking of a previously imaginative franchise. Go frelling figure.
Oh, by the by, May 26th looms ugly on the horizon, and though -1 is not nearly so traumatic a birthday for a nixar as -0, gifts always seem to help to soften the blow. Should you be so inclined, there's this Amazon wish list thing...
And you still have five days to score FULL-COLOUR MONSTER DOODLES (!!!!) with every "But-It-Now" and fixed-price purchase on our eBay auctions. Oh, and the books are pretty good, too.