greygirlbeast (greygirlbeast) wrote,
greygirlbeast
greygirlbeast

"One look and I saw inside, every little thing you've died to hide."

Yesterday was another very, very bad day, an ugly day, a day of rage and suicidal fantasies, in part because of the hellish winds that blew from morning until dusk, ~60 mph gusts, and it was pretty much a long sustained gust. The wind works its way underneath my skin, and it scrapes my nerves raw. The temperature reached, I think, 67˚F, but I had no wish to be out in that wind. We may reach 66˚F toady, with rain – but then winter comes galloping back to New England, and it isn't likely to leave until at least mid April.

But I have to get back on the horse. I've lost two days, and there's nothing I can do about the shitty weather or about Cold Spring or about not being able to afford to move back South. I can only do what I can actually do.

Sounds like shit when you say it aloud.

On the to do list over the next week:

1. A vignette for Sirenia Digest #122
2. Settle on ToC for Dear Sweet Filthy World
3. Begin assembling ms. for Dear Sweet Filthy World

Which is more than enough for one week.

Fuck it.

TTFN,
Aunt Beast
Tags: anger, cold spring, colder weather, dear sweet filthy world, depression, shut in, sirenia digest, wind
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