greygirlbeast (greygirlbeast) wrote,

No Sleep Demons #12 and 35

It's 5:09 pm CST. I slept for about 45 minutes, then woke.

And here I am, after almost of month of this bullshit, beginning to believe that my late an unlamented dependence on gabapentin has forever destroyed my ability to sleep. As irrational as the fear may sound to those of who have not been awake for the better part of a month, to my insomniac's mind it is purest reason. And it is terrifying.

My stomach and bowels are short from the stress. I'm drinking Maalox.

I took 5mg of Ambien. I'm going to go lie in the dark with my sour belly and hope the sun comes only very slowly.

This is how it is with insomnia. Everything is so far away, a copy of a copy of a copy. The insomnia distance of everything, you can't touch anything and nothing can touch you. ~ Chuck Palahniuk

Aunt Beast
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