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"Mary, carry your shame."

This will be short. It's already 12:28 p.m., and I've lost more days than I care to count. I've damn near lost an entire year. The day is bright and clear, and my curtains are all drawn. It's 59˚F. In Minsk, that's summertime.

I have three stories I need to be writing, a novella and two short stories. A very short novella and two short stories. No way I'm wandering into another 20k-word thing, not any time soon. And I should have had the proposal for Interstate Love Song written six months ago. Few things are more soul destroying than being forced to write a synopsis for an unwritten book. I might as well try to draw a road map to a country I've never visited. This is what publishers expect, even after thirteen novels. They want to see a beginning, a middle, and an end. They want to know exactly what they're spending those precious few pennies on.

I swore I'd never write another Lovecraft story. I'm about to write two. Such is the strength of my resolve.

I'm queasy and tired. Yesterday was an utter nightmare, mostly because I'm shitty at keeping my insides inside.

I should stop this, before I get angry all over again.

Aunt Beast


( 6 comments — Have your say! )
Eric Cantwell
Oct. 30th, 2015 05:56 pm (UTC)
Proposals do suck, at least with comic books they do. Everybody wants "high concept" and a proposal that's tightly wound. The business mentality of comic books sucks the art right out of it. In the 80s and 90s companies actually wanted an exploration, an evolution, of a story idea. Now it's about marketability and movie potential, blah blah. Whatever.

Hopefully you have enough pull that you can submit the proposal, have it accepted, and then ditch it for what the story needs to be.
Oct. 30th, 2015 06:27 pm (UTC)
I will do whatever I can whenever the timing works for you. Just let me know. Here it's warm and sunny, which feels very strange for eve-of-Halloween.
Oct. 30th, 2015 06:41 pm (UTC)
I like your Lovecraft tales. Fuck the publishers dammit. If only they weren't ... necessary. I love your time-shifting narratives. And you are uunique as a stylist. No one else except Ligotti builds a world in a story like you do. And for the longest time, I've been wondering about Mina...what has happened after she heard the padding of feet outside the window. Is she old now? Is she tormented? And, I have often thought about the Queen of Decay. She scratches at me from Ammonite...Winter is a bitch, she says.
Your work offers me solace, Caitlín. I read it in the fall and winter evenings. I have for some years now. I would bet others do as well. There is most likely a thinner slice of solace for you, its creator. As in all art, your struggles become our light. It is a cold cold irony. ♡
Kiki Lang
Oct. 30th, 2015 09:04 pm (UTC)
Lovecraft use to get his work returned with notes on changes the editor wanted. He would freak, until he was told that specific editor(All editors.) didn't remember shit. after that he would just hold onto his work, and return it like he had made the changes. So what if you finished work doesn't match your outline? I doubt he would even remember.
Oct. 30th, 2015 11:33 pm (UTC)
Re: Lovecraft

I once did nothing but resubmit a manuscript in a different font (this was when I was writing for DC Comics). And it worked.

And no, it does not at all matter if the outline doesn't match the novel. That's not the issue. The issue is, among other things, my wasting days to write the thing.
Rachel Fending
Oct. 31st, 2015 02:02 pm (UTC)
Not particularly related to the comment thread, but...This is just to say thank you, thank you for writing the Drowning Girl. I discovered the audiobook version on Audible and loved it but pretty quickly realized I wanted to *see* the words, so I ended up sort of doing both. It was the first of your work I'd encountered, and one of the very best things I've ever, ever read. Literary and beautiful and frightening and compelling. The kind of book you read slowly so you absorb every single word. I loved it. Thank you.
( 6 comments — Have your say! )

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