greygirlbeast (greygirlbeast) wrote,

"Ringing that iron bell..."

The rain's here, and most of the snow has melted. Currently, the temperature has risen to a balmy 57˚F. I think it's safe to safe it's nasty out there. This evening the temperature's going to fall all the way back down to fucking 16˚F. It's very windy.

My first entry since Friday. But there simply hasn't been anything much to say. I've not written anything good enough to dare show anyone, so it may as well not exist. My non-shameful productivity has been limited to working on the Table of Contents for the second "Best of" volume. This is the very preliminary ToC, as of yesterday evening:

Author's Introduction
01. “Pony” (January 2006) [3,866]
02. “Untitled 17” (February 2006) [1,987]
03 “Highway 97" (April 2006) [1,884]
04. “The Ammonite Violin (Murder Ballad No. 4)” (October 2006) [6,484]
05. “A Season of Broken Dolls” (February 2007) [6,668]
06. “In View of Nothing” (March 2007) [8,268]
07. “The Ape’s Wife” (April 2007) [8,992]
08. “The Steam Dancer (1896)” (June 2007) [4,685]
09. “Pickman’s Other Model” (March 2008) [9,891]

Part Two (Providence)

10. “Galápagos” (May 2008) [9,524]
11. “The Melusine (1898)” (June 2008) [5,099]
12. “As Red As Red” (March 2009) [6,928]
13. “Fish Bride” (May 2009) [4,391]
14. “The Mermaid of the Concrete Ocean” (June 2009) [5,342]
15. “The Sea Troll’s Daughter” (July 2009) [9,957]
16. “Werewolf Smile” (August 2009) [7,446]
17. “Hydraguros” (January 2010) [9,202]
18. “Houndwife” (March 2010) [6,769]
19. “The Maltese Unicorn” (May 2010) [11,130]
20. “Tidal Forces” (June 2010) [6,620]
21. “The Prayer of Ninety Cats” (November 2010) [9,962]
22. “One Tree Hill (The World As Cataclysm)” (July 2012) [6,886]
23. Black Helicopters (December 2012) [25,931]
24. “The Peddler’s Tale, or Isobel’s Revenge” (December 2013) [7,547]
Wd. Count: [186,449 words]
+ ? story notes for Vols. 1 & 2

I have a total of ~100k words to work with. There are three of four stories in this ToC that may be swapped out for others. The situation is, you know, fluid. So far, there are no stories from 2005 or 2011. I also don't yet have a title for the collection. But it won't be taken from a Sisters of Mercy song.

This morning I dropped my Lamictal dose from 150 mg. to 75 mg. When I began stepping down on December 23rd, I was at 300 mg. Next Monday I'll be off this shit. I feel as if I'm waking up. Sometimes, it's horribly overwhelming, all the feelings I've been forcing my mind not to feel. But it's better than the dead calm I've lived in for so long. I'm sleeping better, and I'm dreaming again. I never thought I'd be glad to see nightmares.

In Need of a Shower,
Aunt Beast
Tags: "best of crk" project, depression, dreams, pills for ills, short fiction, sisters of mercy, snow, subterranean press, titles, waking, weather
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