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talks to wolves
No Seroquel last night, because now that I'm off the Lamictal, I want that shit out of me, as well. And this morning, which comes with several inches of fresh snow, is all wakeful sharp white blades waiting to slice me. I managed five or six fitful, feverish hours of sleep. There was a long and profoundly sad and extremely technical dream of devising a time-travel mechanism. I was not me, and I was in love with someone whose never lived. It was the sort of dream I wake from at the edge of tears, desperate to find a way back in. You'd think that would be easy. It's my mind after all.

You'd think writing this last Quinn novel would be easy, speaking of that which is only my own mind. But you'd be wrong. Yesterday, after a lot of revision work on Chapter Four, I managed to write a new ending for the chapter – 272 words that took a couple of hours. Which is bullshit. I'm so lost in this book. And, I'm sorry, but it isn't a book worth becoming lost in. It's a book worth finding THE END to and moving on. It's shits and giggles. Still, yesterday, was the first real progress I've made on Cherry Bomb since December 5th. I cannot exaggerate how far off course I am. Months past the deadline. Fortunately, my editor continues to take mercy on me.

In a postscript to yesterday's entry, I wrote, "I actually had no idea whatsoever that today was the release day for Pink Delicious. I suppose that's sort of fucked up." And, yeah. It is. Brit Mandelo has written a more than fair review at Tor.com. If anything, it's kinder to the book than either I or the book deserve. It identifies problems I saw while editing it that I ought to have dealt with. But I didn't. Which is inexcusable. One thing that's slowing me down so much with Cherry Bomb is that I'm trying to avoid inexcusable mistakes. Actually, the review went up on January 17th, but I only learned of it yesterday.

Jesus, it's fucking white out there.

I've been watching a lot. Including movies, some not worth mentioning, some very much so. J.C. Chandor's All Is Lost, for example. A beautiful, sublime film, and I'm appalled it's not up for Best Picture at this year's Oscars. Also, Bill Condon's The Fifth Estate, which seems to have been met with almost universal derision. Which I don't get at all. Finally, last night we saw Sebastián Silva's Magic Magic, which is one of those unexpected gems I find when I'm expecting only gravel. I cannot avoid drawing parallels between this film and The Red Tree (2010), and between this film and Lars von Trier's Antichrist (2009), and, for that matter, Joseph L. Mankiewicz' 1959 adaptation of Suddenly Last Summer (which setsuled discussed yesterday) and Peter Weir's 1975 adaptation of Picnic at Hanging Rock. A smart and unflinching film, Magic Magic treads that same liminal space between civilization and the forest primeval, between sanity and lunacy. It's raw, brutal, and Kathryn and I were both almost speechless afterwards. I was not really able to talk about the film until today, it left me so stunned. And hopefully this hyperbole won't ruin it for anyone. I'll avoid relevant passages from Joseph Conrad and Thoreau that beg to be quoted. I will say that Juno Temple's performance is amazing. She brings to her role the same feral power we saw from her in Bradley Rust Gray's superb Angela Carteresque Jack and Diane (2012).

I should go. I think I'm going to walk in the snow. It's sort of like a cold shower.

Fuck You, Seroquel,
Aunt Beast

Comments

( 8 comments — Have your say! )
setsuled
Feb. 5th, 2014 07:05 pm (UTC)
Sebastián Silva's Magic Magic, which is one of those unexpected gems I find when I'm expecting only gravel. I cannot avoid drawing parallels between this film and The Red Tree (2010), and between this film and Lars von Trier's Antichrist (2009), and, for that matter, Joseph L. Mankiewicz' 1959 adaptation of Suddenly Last Summer (which setsuled discussed yesterday) and Peter Weir's 1975 adaptation of Picnic at Hanging Rock.

Sounds like I need to see Magic Magic, that's an intriguing list of comparisons.

A smart and unflinching film, Magic Magic treads that same liminal space between civilization and the forest primeval, between sanity and lunacy.

Nice. Now I sort of want to ask for a "Top Ten Films that Tread the Liminal Space Between Civilisation and the Forest Primeval, Between Sanity and Lunacy".
greygirlbeast
Feb. 5th, 2014 07:11 pm (UTC)

Nice. Now I sort of want to ask for a "Top Ten Films that Tread the Liminal Space Between Civilisation and the Forest Primeval, Between Sanity and Lunacy".

I think I can manage that.
xjenavivex
Feb. 5th, 2014 08:06 pm (UTC)
You were in a dream of mine last night. Time was not linear. It was strange. I rarely dream of anyone beyond people I know in person. You were only there for a few moments. It was surreal. I am sorry you couldn't get back to your dream or that it was so hard on you upon waking.

Thanks for the movie recommendations.
greygirlbeast
Feb. 5th, 2014 08:19 pm (UTC)

I am sorry you couldn't get back to your dream or that it was so hard on you upon waking.

I don't know. At least I'm dreaming like me again.
eluneth
Feb. 5th, 2014 11:18 pm (UTC)
Coincidentally, I happened to watch Magic Magic on Friday evening - I was deeply shaken afterward, and the colors are still imprinted on my mind's eye (especially the deep deep blues against the almost absolute blacks of the night scenes, and the weirdly alarming dark/brassy gold lighting in the horrible final scene). I liked the whole cast's wary edginess - the psychological dynamic made me think of Juno Temple's character as being a small object bounced among bits of sharp glass. I'll have to look her up in Jack and Diane.
eluneth
Feb. 5th, 2014 11:51 pm (UTC)
I got so excited talking about the movie that I neglected to say thank you simply for your words on it (and also for the reminder that I still need to see Antichrist).
sovay
Feb. 6th, 2014 01:07 am (UTC)
There was a long and profoundly sad and extremely technical dream of devising a time-travel mechanism. I was not me, and I was in love with someone whose never lived.

I am glad your dreams are giving you stories again, not blank pages.

"I actually had no idea whatsoever that today was the release day for Pink Delicious. I suppose that's sort of fucked up."

I preordered that! With any luck, it will be waiting for me when I return from New York.

It's raw, brutal, and Kathryn and I were both almost speechless afterwards. I was not really able to talk about the film until today, it left me so stunned.

I'd never even heard of this movie. I'll find it.
greygirlbeast
Feb. 6th, 2014 01:26 am (UTC)

I am glad your dreams are giving you stories again, not blank pages.

I spent so long wanting them gone, and then I hadn't even realized they weren't with me...having them back is a relief.
( 8 comments — Have your say! )